Home 4 Months & FCAP

Our girls have been home 4 months today. WOW!

I found out from the girls SW that FCAP is Foster Child Assessment Program/Plan. When DSHS isn't cutting it, a parent/guardian can request an FCAP, which is done thru an independent company. The state pays for this. In our case, our 4yr olds files have been sent over to Lutheran Services, where they will have a panel read the files, interview the parent and child, and advise recommendations for her treatment and care. The panel consists of professionals, counselors, educators, doctors, specialists, etc. I don't know if they are paid or volunteer, but sounds interesting either way. Our file was sent over Friday, and they are supposed to call me this week to set up some meetings with me and our daughter. The SW said not many people request an FCAP, so they get done pretty quickly, and with success from what he's seen.

Frankly I'm really tired. Just being honest.

Friday I called our class president from my high school graduating class. I graduated in 1988, so our 20yr reunion should be this summer. Is there anything planned? Of course not. The class president, a guy (former pothead), asked if I would organize and run the reunion. I told him I'm not in a place right now where I have any extra capacity for anything beyond raising my 5 kids, two of which I explained are newly adopted. I suggested a location for the reunion, and an email round-robin of sorts to organize it that way. He is going to pay some money to have a reunion company find everyone and get this going. Works for me. Also Friday our 11yr old had his birthday party. It went really well. We noticed our 4yr old seems really alive and full of zest around large groups. I think preschool will be really good for her. I'm still waiting to hear back from the school district preschool and EACAP.

Saturday I signed our 11yr old up for baseball, went clothes shopping for the girls, and went to a scrap booking event at my friends house for the evening. I met a couple of other adoptive parents, one lady who is dealing with the same issues as me. Her son is only a year older than my 4yr old, so we can really relate. It was nice to hear her experience and know I'm not alone in this.

A couple of commenters have asked if the state can take the girls away. Yes. The adoptions are not final, so yes, the state can do what they want. Seriously though, if they took the girls from us because they are a bunch of assholes who do not want to pay for medical services for my daughter, and have a bunch of diagnoses formalized in writing about her (in which case social services will look like a bunch of dumbasses for missing it all..........), well, I think every politician in our country will be hearing about this. Not to mention every news channel. The sad thing is, I don't know what the state would be solving in the long run if they take the girls away. They could try to place them again under the guise of "they are smart, cute, and perfectly healthy". Some nice family would come along like us, be totally blind sighted, and go thru the same thing as us. They could continue with the adoption, or disrupt. If they disrupt, the state can eventually place the girls in separate homes (when the younger sister is over 4yrs old) so that the younger sister has a legitimate chance of being adopted. With the issues our older daughter has, her counselor says there is a 99% chance she will never be adopted by anyone other than us. She'd just bounce around in the system or a group home until she's 16-18 and the state kicks her to the curb.

Last night we went to our small group thru our church. It's a community group, half a dozen couples dealing with raising young children. We are all at that place in our life. I enjoy the friendship and camaraderie in this group. In addition to discussing our kids/family lives, we are discussing current events, Christianity, and how it all plays out. Very interesting. Last night we started a discussion on homosexuality. Oh so interesting. The point of last nights session was to discuss how people have different points of view on homosexuality, and even from church to church, there are different opinions. We all agree that the churches out there that are parading, picketing, and going to the media with signs saying "God hates FAGS" isn't really doing anyone any good. Hate doesn't solve anything.

Let's see. What else is going on. I cancelled the 4yr olds counseling appt for today. I have way too much going on this week, and need a break today. Not to mention, the counselor's time would be better spent at this point working on referrals for us and the preschool plan.

I'm doing alot of thinking about how to take better care of myself, so I will be more relaxed, healthy, and a better wife and mother. I made a counseling appt for the 21st, and I'm looking forward to that. I have seen this counselor before regarding adoption, and she's really great. I have enjoyed listening to her suggestions and having a person to vent to. Also I started a diet on December 26. I needed to lose about 45 pounds. So far I've lost 4. So I'm feeling pretty good about that. This weight loss thing has been an odyssey. Back in 2002-2003 I lost 72 pounds. Over the last couple years, about 20 pounds has reappeared. Not to mention I wasn't at my goal weight in 2003 anyway. So, this is the year. I'm going for the goal weight. And I'll look good for my high school reunion as an added perk. One incentive I've given myself is that every ten pounds that comes off, I'm buying myself a beauty treatment. Get some pampering. So I have a spa manicure scheduled for mid-February. That's a reasonable goal.

This year I would like to catch up on my scrap booking. I'm about 5years behind. I have no clue how it got that bad. So between that and some sewing projects, I'm going to be having some creative fun.

Another really important aspect of my life is humor. I am going to keep looking at most things tongue-in-cheek, and laugh instead of cry. I'm that sort of person anyway, but I'm going to try to look for the humor even more than before. I think it will get us thru some rough times.

Gotta run. I have a son home puking with the flu. And I need to wipe a 2yr old's butt.