I'm so excited. My all time favorite blogger buddy is in town. We are meeting up today, going cycling (I have two of everything, including bikes), and seeing the sites of Seattle. Any guesses as to who is visiting? One hint: I visited her in the summer of 2007 when we testified in her state in a lawsuit. Don & Be, you are my favorite Blogger couple. When ya gonna come to town?
By the way my 14yr old started ADD/ADHD meds. It's been a miracle. He says he feels so much smarter. We think that translates to, he can focus at home and school, and can make good decisions (most of the time). That is a HUGE improvement. This is the ticket. This is his "stay out of jail" card. Not kidding. It's that much of an improvement for him. We also have doubled the mood stabilizing meds for our 10yr old (Aspergers, Tourette's), seeing as his Tourette's outbursts increased substantially last week. Going much better now that the extra meds have kicked in. Always exiting around here...............
Showing posts with label Inspire. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Inspire. Show all posts
Friday, April 24, 2009
Saturday, November 22, 2008
The Adoption Arena Resurfaces
Since we disrupted, we have put all things adoption on hold. We are not trying, waiting, holding our breath. We have been moving forward, grieving, healing, and creating a new life. This week the adoption arena resurfaced. I was not expecting this, but it has been a joyful blessing, albeit, a little bittersweet.
The executive director of our domestic adoption agency got in touch with us. She told me our SW never told her we disrupted. This was news to her this week. Our SW buried our files off-site in storage, and only just now are the head honchos finding out what really happened. They called to find out from us, in our words, what happened. They want us to foster and/or adopt again. But more interesting, they want us to be a source on disruption for their staff and PAP's. Again, interesting. She apologized for what we went thru, what the state put us thru, and how inept our SW was. She said what happened to us just should not happen to people. Putting a completely disturbed dangerous child in our care, and the state denying her medical/mental resources was just ghastly. I emailed her documents we had on our case and the girls, and emails I'd sent our SW during our case. She sent us the following email:
"Thank you for taking the time to put the documents together for me. I know that it is hard to have to rehash and some what relive this sad time of your life. I am praying that the Lord will use you to bring light to any other situations like yours. I pray that the Lord will give you strength and guidance. Also I pray for healing, I am so sorry how you have been hurt for opening your home and heart for these girls and also the rest of your family.
I am so glad that you called and shared with me so honestly what happened to your family. I would like to continue to have other conversations with you so that XYZ Adoptions* can learn and be taught through you very sad experience.
My prayers for you, (signed by exec dir)"
signed. received. We are blessed to hear this news and know our adoption agency wants this. We are more than happy to help in any way possible, help their staff, help families, whatnot. I told her we are not ready to foster and/or adopt at this moment, but we have not closed the door on it. We just need more time to heal, more time to spend on our marriage, more time in general.
As a bonus, the girls bio family has gotten our address and phone number (I have no idea how, but guessing DSHS gave it out). They are using our address & phone number for their bills. Nice. I should not be surprised any more. And of course these people do not pay their bills, so bill collectors are calling. Good times. Thru my investigation of all this, without giving out alot of details, it looks like the girls have been thru yet another disruption. I was told they are back with the foster family.
*not real name
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
And So It Goes.....
Remember when I wrote that the 13yr old was a prick over me taking him to school when he was late? That night he came home and apologized. I was ready and waiting for him to come home, seeing as I've come up with "options" for him. In love & logic, they are big into sharing options/choices with your kid. So I told him "no problem. Next time you are late, you could have one of two things: a) walk to school (6-7 miles?), or b) yes I could jump out of bed and drive you to school as is. And this means I'm in my tanker summer nightgown, greasy face, no teeth brushed, hair pulled back in a clip, and to boot, no underwear on. I'd be more than happy to hop out of the van, go into the office, and sign you in."
He looked like he was going to die or vomit, and was speechless as he shook his head "no". Yea, that's what I thought.
Lauri's blog post (clickable) has me traveling down memory lane. I'm big into getting kids to solve, or at least think thru, their own problems. At school as well. Most if not many complaints and/or problems kids have are able to be addressed by the one who owns the problem. I've avoided being a helicopter parent. I think the kids have learned alot of social skills in dealing with their own stuff. However, on a rare occasion, I've made inquiries with the teacher and/or principal. Only once have I ever had to go above the Principal's head. When do you feel it's appropriate or necessary to go above the teacher's head or the Principal's head? I'll share with you when I've done this.
Going above the teacher's head, cause it was just not being resolved:
stealing in the classroom
violence and/or bullying
Going above the Principal's head:
Stalking
We dealt with the stalker for two years. It all started when J was best friends with my 11yr old. J was a bit possessive, and had no other friends. 11yr old is basically a pretty nice kid, and had lots of friends. So he was like "whatever." Until J became an obnoxious mean spirited child who lied to other kids, telling other kids that my son didn't like anyone else. So, being the tender hearted boy he is, not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings, he told J that he likes all the other kids, and to knock it off. This did not go over well, and J turned into psycho stalker in the 2nd grade. I won't go into a million details, but he was a really ugly child in the classroom, playground, and bus. Sadly we live half a mile from the child, and yes, they rode the bus together as well. My son continued to distance himself from J, and this angered J further. Vicious cycle. Since it was all words and no violence, we kept tabs on this, listened to our son grieve over this, and kept giving him "atta boys". I checked in with the teacher about once a month about it all. After a few months of this, I called the parents, who are entirely clueless. They were like "why can't the boys be friends and just like each other?" Um, because your son is a mental case! I did not say that, and just shared the facts, stating the boys would not be friends because of their son's meanness. They are totally in denial. All I requested at the end of the school year was that the boys be in separate classes the next school year. Hopefully this would phase out stalker child.
No one listened to me, and the boys were put in the same class. I held my tongue, and waited for the problems to ensue. They went on all school year, into the spring. I worked with the teacher & principal (or so I thought). The boys sat across the room from one another. But that really didn't help. Finally got to the point where I was dealing with the principal exclusively, over the classroom, playground, and bus. This got me nowhere.
I resorted to pulling out the school district policy book, called the school Superintendent, and cited all the harassment that has been going on for two school years. By this point too, our son was so depressed and beaten down, he was not even the same child. J was now on my son's ball team (by request of J), and yelling at him & taunting him every day at practice. He also threw baseball bats at my son in the dugout, at close range. The buck stopped here. I told the whole saga to the Super, including all my conversations with the principal, and said "I'm now ready to get the police involved. I will get a restraining order against J & his family, and that will be a far bigger problem for the school district to deal with. J will be moved to another class & possibly another school to keep X amount of distance away from my child, J will be kicked off our city baseball league, and J will have to find alternative transportation to school. His parents both work full-time, so they will be highly inconvenienced finding a way to transport him around without the school bus." The buck stopped here. I never regret making this phone call. Surprisingly, the principal was most accommodating at this point. Immediately. No restraining order, but the school kept J away, the city league kicked J off the team, and he sits in another part of the school bus. The school required personal & group counseling for J, including social skills classes. ya think?
We are really proud of our son for how he dealt with this. He did his best to ignore, and never once used physical force against J (even though our son is physically much bigger & stronger, our son turned the other cheek). He talked with his parents, teacher, and principal, about all this. He also got to see that there are higher powers that be, above and beyond the almighty school principal. He also saw his parents love him thru this, we were his safe haven, cheerleaders, and we showed him that the police are there to help us when others aren't.
On the flip side, my 13yr old dealt with 2 school bullies from the 2nd thru 6th grade. No where near the extreme of J, but annoying to say the least. This all stopped in the 6th grade when the 2 bullies tried to beat my son up together, out of the blue, and my son kicked their asses. Both of them. All three kids were suspended, which I protested in person to the school. I was not listened to, but I feel that since all the witnesses agreed that the other two boys instigated & were beating up my son, my son has every right to protect himself. The school policy is to suspend everyone physically fighting. We were able to walk away from this pretty well, because the bottom line is those two assholey kids will never bother my child again. People are still talking about how my son beat up those two punks. Everyone thought they deserved it. Kids and parents alike. I still have to chuckle. And given the same scenario, I would still tell my child to fight back when a couple of kids are beating his head into concrete.
Fortunately, after it's all said and done, I feel I have good repore with the school and district. I feel I handled myself well, and consider the principal to be an acquaintance. She was even a personal reference for me during my hiring phase this last month with the district. I think we've come a long way.
So, where do you draw the line? Where do you let your kid deal with it on their own and where do you step in?
He looked like he was going to die or vomit, and was speechless as he shook his head "no". Yea, that's what I thought.
Lauri's blog post (clickable) has me traveling down memory lane. I'm big into getting kids to solve, or at least think thru, their own problems. At school as well. Most if not many complaints and/or problems kids have are able to be addressed by the one who owns the problem. I've avoided being a helicopter parent. I think the kids have learned alot of social skills in dealing with their own stuff. However, on a rare occasion, I've made inquiries with the teacher and/or principal. Only once have I ever had to go above the Principal's head. When do you feel it's appropriate or necessary to go above the teacher's head or the Principal's head? I'll share with you when I've done this.
Going above the teacher's head, cause it was just not being resolved:
stealing in the classroom
violence and/or bullying
Going above the Principal's head:
Stalking
We dealt with the stalker for two years. It all started when J was best friends with my 11yr old. J was a bit possessive, and had no other friends. 11yr old is basically a pretty nice kid, and had lots of friends. So he was like "whatever." Until J became an obnoxious mean spirited child who lied to other kids, telling other kids that my son didn't like anyone else. So, being the tender hearted boy he is, not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings, he told J that he likes all the other kids, and to knock it off. This did not go over well, and J turned into psycho stalker in the 2nd grade. I won't go into a million details, but he was a really ugly child in the classroom, playground, and bus. Sadly we live half a mile from the child, and yes, they rode the bus together as well. My son continued to distance himself from J, and this angered J further. Vicious cycle. Since it was all words and no violence, we kept tabs on this, listened to our son grieve over this, and kept giving him "atta boys". I checked in with the teacher about once a month about it all. After a few months of this, I called the parents, who are entirely clueless. They were like "why can't the boys be friends and just like each other?" Um, because your son is a mental case! I did not say that, and just shared the facts, stating the boys would not be friends because of their son's meanness. They are totally in denial. All I requested at the end of the school year was that the boys be in separate classes the next school year. Hopefully this would phase out stalker child.
No one listened to me, and the boys were put in the same class. I held my tongue, and waited for the problems to ensue. They went on all school year, into the spring. I worked with the teacher & principal (or so I thought). The boys sat across the room from one another. But that really didn't help. Finally got to the point where I was dealing with the principal exclusively, over the classroom, playground, and bus. This got me nowhere.
I resorted to pulling out the school district policy book, called the school Superintendent, and cited all the harassment that has been going on for two school years. By this point too, our son was so depressed and beaten down, he was not even the same child. J was now on my son's ball team (by request of J), and yelling at him & taunting him every day at practice. He also threw baseball bats at my son in the dugout, at close range. The buck stopped here. I told the whole saga to the Super, including all my conversations with the principal, and said "I'm now ready to get the police involved. I will get a restraining order against J & his family, and that will be a far bigger problem for the school district to deal with. J will be moved to another class & possibly another school to keep X amount of distance away from my child, J will be kicked off our city baseball league, and J will have to find alternative transportation to school. His parents both work full-time, so they will be highly inconvenienced finding a way to transport him around without the school bus." The buck stopped here. I never regret making this phone call. Surprisingly, the principal was most accommodating at this point. Immediately. No restraining order, but the school kept J away, the city league kicked J off the team, and he sits in another part of the school bus. The school required personal & group counseling for J, including social skills classes. ya think?
We are really proud of our son for how he dealt with this. He did his best to ignore, and never once used physical force against J (even though our son is physically much bigger & stronger, our son turned the other cheek). He talked with his parents, teacher, and principal, about all this. He also got to see that there are higher powers that be, above and beyond the almighty school principal. He also saw his parents love him thru this, we were his safe haven, cheerleaders, and we showed him that the police are there to help us when others aren't.
On the flip side, my 13yr old dealt with 2 school bullies from the 2nd thru 6th grade. No where near the extreme of J, but annoying to say the least. This all stopped in the 6th grade when the 2 bullies tried to beat my son up together, out of the blue, and my son kicked their asses. Both of them. All three kids were suspended, which I protested in person to the school. I was not listened to, but I feel that since all the witnesses agreed that the other two boys instigated & were beating up my son, my son has every right to protect himself. The school policy is to suspend everyone physically fighting. We were able to walk away from this pretty well, because the bottom line is those two assholey kids will never bother my child again. People are still talking about how my son beat up those two punks. Everyone thought they deserved it. Kids and parents alike. I still have to chuckle. And given the same scenario, I would still tell my child to fight back when a couple of kids are beating his head into concrete.
Fortunately, after it's all said and done, I feel I have good repore with the school and district. I feel I handled myself well, and consider the principal to be an acquaintance. She was even a personal reference for me during my hiring phase this last month with the district. I think we've come a long way.
So, where do you draw the line? Where do you let your kid deal with it on their own and where do you step in?
Monday, September 22, 2008
The Working Mama Debate
Yesterday on Laura's blog, I found a link to Jeanette's blog (post now removed, but still on Laura's blog in entirety). Click on either name to get to their blog. The posts were quite something, not to mention the comments. WOW! What a debate! It's as old as dirt. I frankly have so much to say on the topic, I did not post a comment on Jeanette's blog. **And while we are at it, my respect and admiration goes to single working moms. You wear all the hats in the family.**
1. Let's take religion out of the equation for a moment. Yes, alot of what guides and directs us is thru our belief system. However, how can one say that being a Christian (or not, as Jeanette was accused of) clearly dictates if a woman works outside the home? Does the bible state if we should breastfeed? Eat organically? Those are rhetorical of course, but other topics people really get hot over.
2. Can we not be kind to others when stating our opinions? I think the crisis here is women who cannot support other women. We don't have to agree with them, but can we not be compassionate & graceful thru adversity? Truly in our day in age, high cost of living, stress, lack of extended family support, you'd think women could at least support women.
3. It's not a crime/sin to have a child, adopted or bio, in daycare. I'm a SAHM and I can see that one pretty clearly.
4. What's up with all the anonymous commenters on this topic? Personally I'm glad people came out of hibernation to comment, but can't people use their blog ID and feel bold enough to post their true feelings?
5. Honestly, I do not know many women who can afford to work AND put their child in daycare. I know countless women thru church, biblestudy, MOPS, etc., who are like "I choose to be a SAHM." Really? I know these women don't have marketable skills and/or a college degree. They truly cannot afford to pay for daycare after one child (if even for one). This is not a put down to those women. I'm just saying, I see these women patting them self needlessly on the back, alluding to what they allegedly gave up (all this free flowing cash) to be a SAHM, when that's just not the true picture. In real life*, I only know one professional woman in addition to myself who chose to put their career aside to be a SAHM. ONE. I am an accountant, and my friend is a lawyer. Now that is giving up a great career to be a SAHM! I'm not patting myself on the back. Just stating the situation. *Thru yahoo groups & blogs, I've met countless professional women who put their career aside to be with their children.
6. That being said, there ARE many things we SAHM's give up. I don't have to rant about it though. Conversely, there are many things working moms give up too. Life is hard, and no one said it would be fair!
7. Where are the women who choose to work and have the balls to just come out and say "Yea, I work outside the home. I want to. It's a choice I make. I feel like it." I know you are out there. I know personally there are many women who want a career, the professional environment, the socializing, strong work ethic, 401K, and sense of accomplishment that a career provides. It's not wrong to have those desires. They are positive dynamics and I commend that.
8. Jeanette's original blog post is about ex-orphan kids being left in daycare. Somewhere the argument went sideways and all the SAHM's and working moms came out with gloves on. Our original international adoption agency had a policy to only approve adoptions to families with a stay at home parent (they did approve single parents). I personally feel that it is highly beneficial to do this for kids with any special need. I think most people would agree with that. Again though, it's not a crime to put a child in daycare. A child who is here in the US, with a loving family, is far better off than in an institution!! Praise God these children have been adopted and have a forever family!
9. I think there are exceptions to any situation. When we had the girls with us, the older girl had so many behavioral, sexual, and safety problems, I literally could not do anything other than watch her like a hawk 24/7. In the evening when my DH came home, he watched her like a hawk so I could get the home front taken care of. This truly impacted the other children in the home. They had nearly zilch quality time with me. During the day they were at school; in the evening I was running errands, cleaning the house, cooking, getting to doctor appts, etc. At this point, it became necessity to put the adopted child in daycare 4hrs a week so I could have some uninterrupted time caring for my family. She is a highly traumatized and disturbed child. Be that as it may, I could not sacrifice the other children in the home & the care for them and our family, to watch one child 24/7. So, daycare came into the equation 4 hours a week. I have no regrets about that.
10. Final point. I do not want this to come down as harsh. The truth is, we all make our own choices. Working moms and SAHM moms all have bills to pay. Mainly I hear from working moms that "we have bills to pay." Well, that's true, but it's true for all of us. And yes, I live in a Seattle suburb, one of the most expensive areas in the country. Yes, gas prices have gone thru the roof. yes. yes. yes. I know there are countless families who have financial hardships, out of their control, and they are stuck with the bill: medical costs, a legal fiasco, a natural disaster, whatnot. Honestly though, when people say "we have bills to pay", well, who created those bills? Usually the person who the bill comes to. Usually it's an intentional purchase, and not a natural disaster or crisis generating the bills. I'm NOT saying it's wrong to have bills, to make purchases, to make choices. But that is what this all comes down to: MONEY!
My husband and I are both financial professionals with great financial expertise. So, we know enough to know that we all have options. Alot of people, if they are truly interested, could go to one income by doing the following:
Pay by cash only. No cash? No purchase.
Go to one car. Take a bus. Ride a bike.
Bring a sack lunch to work, and no lattes, soft drinks, cigarettes, beer.
Shop at Value Village. Most of my families material possessions are from VV. Artwork, kitchen gadgets, mine & DH clothing, household decor, tools, the kids church clothes, shower curtains. You name it, and thrift stores carry it. I have never bought underwear there. I do draw the line at that.
This would be hard, but if you want to cut back, sell the house & buy a smaller one. Yes the economy sucks, as it does for EVERYONE! It just is. As a couple, we seriously know if my husband lost a job, was disabled, we'd sell the house & buy a tiny one. It just is.
Check out Dave Ramsey, Suze Orman, Dr. Phil, Oprah, Google, and look up Money, Debt, Finances, Debt-free, etc. Too many good nuggets there (free!) to help. I'm totally serious.
No expensive vacations. No eating out. Cut the kids back to one sport/extra circular activity per year (or none). It will not kill them. They can ride a bike, play outside, and find something to do for free.
Buy what's on sale each week at the grocery store & live off of that. Buy meat in bulk or thru a grower/supplier and utilize that freezer. We have half a pig coming in October. YUMMY!
Give up expensive hobbies.
Give up professional services & take care of things yourself (ie..hair color, manicures, mowing the lawn, cleaning the house.)
Take an evening and/or weekend job. Both of you.
Give up the subscriptions & annual fees: magazines, athletic tickets, the golf club.
Buy drugstore toiletries & essentials, use some generic here and there, and skip the mall.
There are countless ideas and options, which I do not have the time to get into here. We've implemented many in our personal life.
When times are tough, we realize there is truly little we HAVE to have. There is little we need. We have to have shelter, food, water, and clothes on our back. None of these have to be fancy or designer. It's not about what we deserve, it's about getting our needs met. True needs. Not wants.
The bottom line is, there are also MANY families doing all these financial tips & then some, who are still in dire financial straights. I applaud you. I respect you. I know you are working your fingers to the bone, you are dogass tired, and you are frayed. You are in pain, and to add insult to injury, some SAHM's are attacking you. I think this is the crisis. This is the tragedy. You are doing all you can, and your efforts will eventually pay off. You will get out of debt. You only answer to yourself and God. You will be blessed for your efforts.
As women, please support each other. Notice I have not attacked anyone here, or any side. These are observations, with a little financial education thrown in there, because yes, I am a financial professional. Not tooting my horn. I have two college degrees in business & accounting, as does my spouse.
If anyone has any questions about finance, please write. I welcome any and all comments here, and encourage it. I truly want to see women supporting women. We all need it. Desperately. Laura & Jeanette, I believe you are both Christians! As women we need to take a stand and not be on a high horse. Last time I checked, none of us is a moral/religious professional; we have not cornered the market on that and no one is entitled to get on a high horse over it all. I'm sure Dobson or Beth Moore could post on all this with far more tact than I've recently seen in Bloggerland. We all have our opinions, and we can all have a blog. That is obvious. Personally, I would prefer to discuss topics, not wage an emotional war against others. I hope I have been atleast a tad helpful here sharing my feelings.
The most noble calling is to be a mother. And there are lots of ways to be a mother.
1. Let's take religion out of the equation for a moment. Yes, alot of what guides and directs us is thru our belief system. However, how can one say that being a Christian (or not, as Jeanette was accused of) clearly dictates if a woman works outside the home? Does the bible state if we should breastfeed? Eat organically? Those are rhetorical of course, but other topics people really get hot over.
2. Can we not be kind to others when stating our opinions? I think the crisis here is women who cannot support other women. We don't have to agree with them, but can we not be compassionate & graceful thru adversity? Truly in our day in age, high cost of living, stress, lack of extended family support, you'd think women could at least support women.
3. It's not a crime/sin to have a child, adopted or bio, in daycare. I'm a SAHM and I can see that one pretty clearly.
4. What's up with all the anonymous commenters on this topic? Personally I'm glad people came out of hibernation to comment, but can't people use their blog ID and feel bold enough to post their true feelings?
5. Honestly, I do not know many women who can afford to work AND put their child in daycare. I know countless women thru church, biblestudy, MOPS, etc., who are like "I choose to be a SAHM." Really? I know these women don't have marketable skills and/or a college degree. They truly cannot afford to pay for daycare after one child (if even for one). This is not a put down to those women. I'm just saying, I see these women patting them self needlessly on the back, alluding to what they allegedly gave up (all this free flowing cash) to be a SAHM, when that's just not the true picture. In real life*, I only know one professional woman in addition to myself who chose to put their career aside to be a SAHM. ONE. I am an accountant, and my friend is a lawyer. Now that is giving up a great career to be a SAHM! I'm not patting myself on the back. Just stating the situation. *Thru yahoo groups & blogs, I've met countless professional women who put their career aside to be with their children.
6. That being said, there ARE many things we SAHM's give up. I don't have to rant about it though. Conversely, there are many things working moms give up too. Life is hard, and no one said it would be fair!
7. Where are the women who choose to work and have the balls to just come out and say "Yea, I work outside the home. I want to. It's a choice I make. I feel like it." I know you are out there. I know personally there are many women who want a career, the professional environment, the socializing, strong work ethic, 401K, and sense of accomplishment that a career provides. It's not wrong to have those desires. They are positive dynamics and I commend that.
8. Jeanette's original blog post is about ex-orphan kids being left in daycare. Somewhere the argument went sideways and all the SAHM's and working moms came out with gloves on. Our original international adoption agency had a policy to only approve adoptions to families with a stay at home parent (they did approve single parents). I personally feel that it is highly beneficial to do this for kids with any special need. I think most people would agree with that. Again though, it's not a crime to put a child in daycare. A child who is here in the US, with a loving family, is far better off than in an institution!! Praise God these children have been adopted and have a forever family!
9. I think there are exceptions to any situation. When we had the girls with us, the older girl had so many behavioral, sexual, and safety problems, I literally could not do anything other than watch her like a hawk 24/7. In the evening when my DH came home, he watched her like a hawk so I could get the home front taken care of. This truly impacted the other children in the home. They had nearly zilch quality time with me. During the day they were at school; in the evening I was running errands, cleaning the house, cooking, getting to doctor appts, etc. At this point, it became necessity to put the adopted child in daycare 4hrs a week so I could have some uninterrupted time caring for my family. She is a highly traumatized and disturbed child. Be that as it may, I could not sacrifice the other children in the home & the care for them and our family, to watch one child 24/7. So, daycare came into the equation 4 hours a week. I have no regrets about that.
10. Final point. I do not want this to come down as harsh. The truth is, we all make our own choices. Working moms and SAHM moms all have bills to pay. Mainly I hear from working moms that "we have bills to pay." Well, that's true, but it's true for all of us. And yes, I live in a Seattle suburb, one of the most expensive areas in the country. Yes, gas prices have gone thru the roof. yes. yes. yes. I know there are countless families who have financial hardships, out of their control, and they are stuck with the bill: medical costs, a legal fiasco, a natural disaster, whatnot. Honestly though, when people say "we have bills to pay", well, who created those bills? Usually the person who the bill comes to. Usually it's an intentional purchase, and not a natural disaster or crisis generating the bills. I'm NOT saying it's wrong to have bills, to make purchases, to make choices. But that is what this all comes down to: MONEY!
My husband and I are both financial professionals with great financial expertise. So, we know enough to know that we all have options. Alot of people, if they are truly interested, could go to one income by doing the following:
Pay by cash only. No cash? No purchase.
Go to one car. Take a bus. Ride a bike.
Bring a sack lunch to work, and no lattes, soft drinks, cigarettes, beer.
Shop at Value Village. Most of my families material possessions are from VV. Artwork, kitchen gadgets, mine & DH clothing, household decor, tools, the kids church clothes, shower curtains. You name it, and thrift stores carry it. I have never bought underwear there. I do draw the line at that.
This would be hard, but if you want to cut back, sell the house & buy a smaller one. Yes the economy sucks, as it does for EVERYONE! It just is. As a couple, we seriously know if my husband lost a job, was disabled, we'd sell the house & buy a tiny one. It just is.
Check out Dave Ramsey, Suze Orman, Dr. Phil, Oprah, Google, and look up Money, Debt, Finances, Debt-free, etc. Too many good nuggets there (free!) to help. I'm totally serious.
No expensive vacations. No eating out. Cut the kids back to one sport/extra circular activity per year (or none). It will not kill them. They can ride a bike, play outside, and find something to do for free.
Buy what's on sale each week at the grocery store & live off of that. Buy meat in bulk or thru a grower/supplier and utilize that freezer. We have half a pig coming in October. YUMMY!
Give up expensive hobbies.
Give up professional services & take care of things yourself (ie..hair color, manicures, mowing the lawn, cleaning the house.)
Take an evening and/or weekend job. Both of you.
Give up the subscriptions & annual fees: magazines, athletic tickets, the golf club.
Buy drugstore toiletries & essentials, use some generic here and there, and skip the mall.
There are countless ideas and options, which I do not have the time to get into here. We've implemented many in our personal life.
When times are tough, we realize there is truly little we HAVE to have. There is little we need. We have to have shelter, food, water, and clothes on our back. None of these have to be fancy or designer. It's not about what we deserve, it's about getting our needs met. True needs. Not wants.
The bottom line is, there are also MANY families doing all these financial tips & then some, who are still in dire financial straights. I applaud you. I respect you. I know you are working your fingers to the bone, you are dogass tired, and you are frayed. You are in pain, and to add insult to injury, some SAHM's are attacking you. I think this is the crisis. This is the tragedy. You are doing all you can, and your efforts will eventually pay off. You will get out of debt. You only answer to yourself and God. You will be blessed for your efforts.
As women, please support each other. Notice I have not attacked anyone here, or any side. These are observations, with a little financial education thrown in there, because yes, I am a financial professional. Not tooting my horn. I have two college degrees in business & accounting, as does my spouse.
If anyone has any questions about finance, please write. I welcome any and all comments here, and encourage it. I truly want to see women supporting women. We all need it. Desperately. Laura & Jeanette, I believe you are both Christians! As women we need to take a stand and not be on a high horse. Last time I checked, none of us is a moral/religious professional; we have not cornered the market on that and no one is entitled to get on a high horse over it all. I'm sure Dobson or Beth Moore could post on all this with far more tact than I've recently seen in Bloggerland. We all have our opinions, and we can all have a blog. That is obvious. Personally, I would prefer to discuss topics, not wage an emotional war against others. I hope I have been atleast a tad helpful here sharing my feelings.
The most noble calling is to be a mother. And there are lots of ways to be a mother.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Differently Abled
Yesterday was hard for me to listen to the school principal. She continued to discuss our youngest son's "disabilities". I really loathe that word. I hate labels. Why can't we just stick with words like diagnosis? Our oldest son had his first football practice yesterday, came home, and was pooped. We felt inspired to watch the movie "Rudy". We own it and watch it atleast twice a year. One of the most inspirational movies we've ever seen, this movie is based on the personal story of Daniel "Rudy" Rudiger (link HERE). And to boot, he shares his birthday with our little girl in Russia.
If you have not seen this movie, please run out and see it.
Anyway, while seeing this movie for the umpteenth time yesterday, I thought "hey, I'm going to print a list of successful people with ADHD, bipolar disorder, Aspergers, etc., for my sons to have." They need to know every day that they CAN! They may have disabilities, they may have to find different ways to complete tasks, and it may take them longer to get things accomplished, but success can and will be achieved.
Here are the lists I have found (all clickable):
Famous Bipolar people Here & Here & Here
Famous Aspergers people Here & Here & Here
Famous ADD/ADHD people Here & Here & Here
I imagine all these people had a mom who told them "You can do it!"
My boys have a mom like that as well. To me they are differently abled, not disabled. I feel constantly referring to kids as "disabled" gives the impression that they are unabled. There is a difference. My boys will know they are abled, differently or otherwise.
If you have not seen this movie, please run out and see it.
Anyway, while seeing this movie for the umpteenth time yesterday, I thought "hey, I'm going to print a list of successful people with ADHD, bipolar disorder, Aspergers, etc., for my sons to have." They need to know every day that they CAN! They may have disabilities, they may have to find different ways to complete tasks, and it may take them longer to get things accomplished, but success can and will be achieved.
Here are the lists I have found (all clickable):
Famous Bipolar people Here & Here & Here
Famous Aspergers people Here & Here & Here
Famous ADD/ADHD people Here & Here & Here
I imagine all these people had a mom who told them "You can do it!"
My boys have a mom like that as well. To me they are differently abled, not disabled. I feel constantly referring to kids as "disabled" gives the impression that they are unabled. There is a difference. My boys will know they are abled, differently or otherwise.
Monday, July 21, 2008
What I Learned This Weekend
What I learned this weekend:
1. Sending a child to summer camp leaves them beyond sleep deprived.
2. Doing a makeover on the master bedroom/bath is exhausting. Especially if you paint your bathroom a color called Orchid, and looks dark orchid. You will have to paint your bathroom three times.
2a. Need to remove painting tape immediately after painting a room.
3. I will never paint behind and/or around a toilet in a small space, ever again.
4. Do not leave a sick puppy home alone with children. Sick puppies require adult supervision.
5. Going to Costco without my husband leaves him barking "how on earth did you spend $400+ on groceries?"
6. Going to Costco with my husband leaves us with a $500+ bill at checkout.
7. Looking for free blog templates was harder than it used to be. Many of those sites are no longer functioning and/or are their HTML codes.
8. Upon asking the trusty husband & oldest son what I should name the knitting blog, DH said it should be named "Let me sit down". Oldest son said it should be named "The worst blog ever."
9. After reworking a section of a knitted scarf three times and one is beyond tired, better to put the project away for another day when one can keep their eyes open.
10. Discovered my DH knows all the lines to the movie "Karate Kid 2." Have no clue why.
11. When you cook stew in the crockpot with cut up steak, brown the beef first. Unless you want to cook the stew all day in the crockpot, then take out all meat & brown it at that point.Probably easier to brown it before using the crockpot.
I think I learned enough this weekend.
My knitting blog is over at http://www.noviceknitwit.blogspot.com/. Nothing is there yet, but it's a start.
1. Sending a child to summer camp leaves them beyond sleep deprived.
2. Doing a makeover on the master bedroom/bath is exhausting. Especially if you paint your bathroom a color called Orchid, and looks dark orchid. You will have to paint your bathroom three times.
2a. Need to remove painting tape immediately after painting a room.
3. I will never paint behind and/or around a toilet in a small space, ever again.
4. Do not leave a sick puppy home alone with children. Sick puppies require adult supervision.
5. Going to Costco without my husband leaves him barking "how on earth did you spend $400+ on groceries?"
6. Going to Costco with my husband leaves us with a $500+ bill at checkout.
7. Looking for free blog templates was harder than it used to be. Many of those sites are no longer functioning and/or are their HTML codes.
8. Upon asking the trusty husband & oldest son what I should name the knitting blog, DH said it should be named "Let me sit down". Oldest son said it should be named "The worst blog ever."
9. After reworking a section of a knitted scarf three times and one is beyond tired, better to put the project away for another day when one can keep their eyes open.
10. Discovered my DH knows all the lines to the movie "Karate Kid 2." Have no clue why.
11. When you cook stew in the crockpot with cut up steak, brown the beef first. Unless you want to cook the stew all day in the crockpot, then take out all meat & brown it at that point.Probably easier to brown it before using the crockpot.
I think I learned enough this weekend.
My knitting blog is over at http://www.noviceknitwit.blogspot.com/. Nothing is there yet, but it's a start.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Bipolar Disorder & Camping
Since this blog is primarily about my life with special needs kids, I've sat down several times attempting to write a way to accurately describe living with my children. My oldest has a form of bipolar disorder, ODD, and ADHD. Our youngest son has the same form of bipolar disorder (I think I failed to mention that earlier on the blog) and Aspergers Syndrome (a form of autism). Frankly there's so much to write that I become overwhelmed at beginning that post. It could take forever to portray what it's like to live in my home. So, suffice it to say, I've opted to link to this article I read. I've done much research on bipolar disorder the last few years. I feel this article most candidly, honestly, and compassionately depicts living with a bipolar child. Here is the link:
http://www.newsweek.com/id/137517?GT1=43002
I will follow up with a post on what has been successful for us in these adventures.
In positive news, our family of six (including puppy) went camping at Pearrigin Lake outside of Winthrop, WA. We took a five day trip. Loads of fun, lots of fishing & camping, I made a scarf and started a second, beautiful scenery, and lots of laughs. It's really good for my husband to be with the kids 24/7 in this manner. With him working 10-12 hrs a day, he often misses the true grating feeling of what goes on with the parenting special needs kids challenges. It's alot of mental gymnastics, in a nutshell. Be that as it may, we had a good time. I highly recommend Pearrigin. We will go there again next year. And speaking of the puppy, I had no idea that having a puppy on hand would lead to people engaging in conversation with us about every five minutes. Truly a conversation piece! Really, I had no idea.
http://www.newsweek.com/id/137517?GT1=43002
I will follow up with a post on what has been successful for us in these adventures.
In positive news, our family of six (including puppy) went camping at Pearrigin Lake outside of Winthrop, WA. We took a five day trip. Loads of fun, lots of fishing & camping, I made a scarf and started a second, beautiful scenery, and lots of laughs. It's really good for my husband to be with the kids 24/7 in this manner. With him working 10-12 hrs a day, he often misses the true grating feeling of what goes on with the parenting special needs kids challenges. It's alot of mental gymnastics, in a nutshell. Be that as it may, we had a good time. I highly recommend Pearrigin. We will go there again next year. And speaking of the puppy, I had no idea that having a puppy on hand would lead to people engaging in conversation with us about every five minutes. Truly a conversation piece! Really, I had no idea.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Someone Else's Life
**
I feel like I'm living someone else's life. So much has come and gone the past few years. So much change. Life can turn on the change of a dime, and that happens alot around here.
We have a completely different life, so different from before we started the adoption journey. When we started our journey, I felt something was missing, another child or two, another journey, another milestone.
Strangely, enough, thru all the loss and pain of the last few years, loss of children, loss of parents (as they "check out" of life) I suddenly feel complete. I'm not sure why. I feel I've been thru a journey of the soul.
Yesterday, while watching our puppy nap in the bushes, as I sat knitting, I felt complete. I don't think I've felt that way ever. I've always been looking for approval, validation, something more. Without even knowing what "something more" looks like.
As a young adult, I spent so much time being responsible, prepared, driven, planning & saving for the future, accomplished, etc. Trying trying trying trying. I'm all of a sudden at a point where I'm OK just being. Just being me. Just letting it all be. Suddenly I feel complete.
I feel as if I've been thru a lashing this last few years, thinking "what did I do to deserve all this?", and I don't mean in a positive, thankful way. Knowing full well though, that God has His best plan for us, all along. Jeremiah 29:11. Sometimes I think we go thru turmoil, pain, loss, suffering, so that we will appreciate God's glory in heaven that much more. Not sure, but that's what I tell myself. At the same time, I do have a bounty to be thankful for, and I really enjoy my life. I love where I am at (finally), love my family, and love the life we have created and have been blessed with.
So much has happened over the last few years, that my life now looks almost nothing like it used to. I had a good life before, but now it's so different. And better. It's hard to put a finger on it, but I feel in my heart and soul that we have turned such a corner......................
We have a completely different life, so different from before we started the adoption journey. When we started our journey, I felt something was missing, another child or two, another journey, another milestone.
Strangely, enough, thru all the loss and pain of the last few years, loss of children, loss of parents (as they "check out" of life) I suddenly feel complete. I'm not sure why. I feel I've been thru a journey of the soul.
Yesterday, while watching our puppy nap in the bushes, as I sat knitting, I felt complete. I don't think I've felt that way ever. I've always been looking for approval, validation, something more. Without even knowing what "something more" looks like.
As a young adult, I spent so much time being responsible, prepared, driven, planning & saving for the future, accomplished, etc. Trying trying trying trying. I'm all of a sudden at a point where I'm OK just being. Just being me. Just letting it all be. Suddenly I feel complete.
I feel as if I've been thru a lashing this last few years, thinking "what did I do to deserve all this?", and I don't mean in a positive, thankful way. Knowing full well though, that God has His best plan for us, all along. Jeremiah 29:11. Sometimes I think we go thru turmoil, pain, loss, suffering, so that we will appreciate God's glory in heaven that much more. Not sure, but that's what I tell myself. At the same time, I do have a bounty to be thankful for, and I really enjoy my life. I love where I am at (finally), love my family, and love the life we have created and have been blessed with.
So much has happened over the last few years, that my life now looks almost nothing like it used to. I had a good life before, but now it's so different. And better. It's hard to put a finger on it, but I feel in my heart and soul that we have turned such a corner......................
**Our puppy looks like these ;o)
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Lots of Random Updates
Big surprise. I did not get the job (ROFL). The good news is, I now have experience with the school district HR dept, and the testing. So we'll see if I get called about a part time job (that's all that I applied for).
My garden is still being eaten by local critters. We are putting up a wire fence this weekend.
Tonight we are off to buy a puppy. An English Springer Spaniel. It's a surprise for the boys.
I am halfway done with a knitted afghan, started Saturday.
My oldest son is in wrestling camp this week. He said a kid hurt his head yesterday halfway thru practice, and had to leave. Today I told him to NOT Hurt His Head Please!!
Yesterday I asked him what he learned from camp. He said "I learned that I know nothing." Guess it's really militant. They work out for six hours, with a lunch break in the middle. I pack him a lunch the size of the wrestler on The Breakfast Club.
My younger two are still in swimming and loving it. I've been sitting with a lady, and she told me today her son has Aspergers. Hey, so do I! So, we are looking around for a support group. She is also looking for a therapist for her son, so I'm bringing her the info tomorrow on the psychiatrist our son has seen, wonderful guy.
I thought of a new consequence for when the kids are being annoying, stealing, lying, etc. I tell them, "since I don't trust you, you have to sit by me for X amount of time. And watch Lifetime Movie Network with me." They would rather be stabbed in the eye with a fork. We've only had one kid in LMN timeout with me this week.
I went to the orthopedic surgeon about my hip. He thinks the problem is a Lower Back bulging disc, or a torn ligament in the ball & joint of the hip. So I'm off to have an MRI Thursday, and surgery consult Monday. If they can't find the problem thru the MRI, he said the best he can do is refer me for steroid injections for pain management. I'm rolling my eyes. Not pretty. Today I went to my Bowen Therapy appt, and she said she hopes it's a bulging disc that they find. She said there is a specialize type of Bowen therapy that can shrink the disc. Can't hurt to try?
We went camping this weekend, and had a blast. So did the mosquitoes, as they ate us alive. Us and everyone else in the park.
How come we have record high weather the years I'm pregnant, and record lows the year I planted my first garden? If I don't see some produce soon, I'm buying more berries. The shrub berries are doing well, and too high for rabbits to get to. I could add boysenberries & currants.
Today or tomorrow I'm making the first round of this years jam. Flavor of the day? Grape. Yummy.
And for some more good news, my alcoholic friend has not sought out contact with me in over a month. Last time she called, she was trying to defend her husband. I cut her off with "This is the same shit, different verse, every year. Don't want to hear it." Did the trick! She has probably found someone else to complain to, who will enable her. Better them than me!
Final good news for the day, I have now ended the dieting slump, and lost 2.5 more pounds. So that's 17.5 for the year. I was at a plateau for months! yuck! I need to update my weightloss ticker....
My garden is still being eaten by local critters. We are putting up a wire fence this weekend.
Tonight we are off to buy a puppy. An English Springer Spaniel. It's a surprise for the boys.
I am halfway done with a knitted afghan, started Saturday.
My oldest son is in wrestling camp this week. He said a kid hurt his head yesterday halfway thru practice, and had to leave. Today I told him to NOT Hurt His Head Please!!
Yesterday I asked him what he learned from camp. He said "I learned that I know nothing." Guess it's really militant. They work out for six hours, with a lunch break in the middle. I pack him a lunch the size of the wrestler on The Breakfast Club.
My younger two are still in swimming and loving it. I've been sitting with a lady, and she told me today her son has Aspergers. Hey, so do I! So, we are looking around for a support group. She is also looking for a therapist for her son, so I'm bringing her the info tomorrow on the psychiatrist our son has seen, wonderful guy.
I thought of a new consequence for when the kids are being annoying, stealing, lying, etc. I tell them, "since I don't trust you, you have to sit by me for X amount of time. And watch Lifetime Movie Network with me." They would rather be stabbed in the eye with a fork. We've only had one kid in LMN timeout with me this week.
I went to the orthopedic surgeon about my hip. He thinks the problem is a Lower Back bulging disc, or a torn ligament in the ball & joint of the hip. So I'm off to have an MRI Thursday, and surgery consult Monday. If they can't find the problem thru the MRI, he said the best he can do is refer me for steroid injections for pain management. I'm rolling my eyes. Not pretty. Today I went to my Bowen Therapy appt, and she said she hopes it's a bulging disc that they find. She said there is a specialize type of Bowen therapy that can shrink the disc. Can't hurt to try?
We went camping this weekend, and had a blast. So did the mosquitoes, as they ate us alive. Us and everyone else in the park.
How come we have record high weather the years I'm pregnant, and record lows the year I planted my first garden? If I don't see some produce soon, I'm buying more berries. The shrub berries are doing well, and too high for rabbits to get to. I could add boysenberries & currants.
Today or tomorrow I'm making the first round of this years jam. Flavor of the day? Grape. Yummy.
And for some more good news, my alcoholic friend has not sought out contact with me in over a month. Last time she called, she was trying to defend her husband. I cut her off with "This is the same shit, different verse, every year. Don't want to hear it." Did the trick! She has probably found someone else to complain to, who will enable her. Better them than me!
Final good news for the day, I have now ended the dieting slump, and lost 2.5 more pounds. So that's 17.5 for the year. I was at a plateau for months! yuck! I need to update my weightloss ticker....
Friday, June 6, 2008
Strike & Moved to Tears
Day 7. We are now on day 7.
The boys have been working hard. Yes, some grumbling along the way. To which I either ignore, or respond with an empathetic "I know it's hard." My husband has been making them dinner. Last night they had chicken strips for the 4th night in a row. Boys not thrilled, but glad to see the light at the end of the tunnel with all their hard work on a chart. Gee, I never thought the boys would tire of Tyson chicken products. Guess there's a first for everything.
I was moved to tears yesterday in this process. Our oldest son called from a school trip yesterday, saying the buses were hours behind schedule. He was calling from a cell, in a crowded space with hundreds of middle schoolers. I thanked him for letting me know. He then said (& remember he's in a crowded place with peers) :
"I love you Mom". I love him too.
He's grown into a place the last few years where public hugging, displays of affection, and God forbid saying "I love you", are really just embarrassing. I think it was huge and so sweet for him to say "I love you" in front of all those kids.
Next item on the list: In the mail yesterday, there was a letter from the school. Me? Cringing at the thought of what's in the envelope. This is the kid who was kicked out of the 6th grade multiple times, he's taken a vacuum cleaner pipe and threatened to kill me, destroyed my personal property, begged his father & I to get a divorce so that he can have two birthday parties & two sets of electronics, etc. Gee, what does the school want now? Quite hesitant, and with a sigh, I opened the envelope. It says "Our staff is pleased to announce that your child will receive an award for outstanding achievement in academics or public service", with details following. I about fell out of my chair. Now, seriously, I don't think the worst in my kid. However, this last couple years, living with his bipolar disorder, ADHD, and ODD, has really had me looking forward to the day he will go live on his own. Sometimes he is so sweet and fun and I relish the time we have together.....knowing it will only be for another few years; other times he seems possessed. I'm digressing.
I wanted to cry. The kid has hope. I've always told him that if you work hard, good things happen. If you build a good reputation for yourself, people assume the best of you and in you. His dad and I were pretty squeaky clean kids (yes I know, gag me). We give him examples of how that helps in life, staying out of trouble, that is. With that though, we tell him none of us is perfect, we've made mistakes too, shared with him the results, and said how "not fun" those situations were.
There is hope.
I really think L&L has saved us. I heard about it in 2001, and have been using it since. Our oldest son was 6yr old at the time, and I wondered if it was too late. He fought L&L, kicking and screaming. He's fought it all this time, with pure venom. I never expect kids to like parenting, but he really takes things to the extreme level. He got home last night & we asked him what this award is for. He has no idea. Honor roll? Nope. He's in the 7th grade, and you have to have top grades for all of 7th grade, plus 1 quarter of 8th grade to get into National Honor Society. So, this is a genuine unique award, just for him. This has really made my decade. The important thing is not that he makes me proud, but that he is proud of himself. We've always told the kids that it's important to do well in school & life, for their own future. Their father and I will not be supporting them financially after a point (college age), so it's in their best interest to do well in school and life. It will not punish us if they do poorly. It will just be sad. We've always had them claim their accolades & consequences in their own name. It's not about pleasing us, it's about them being proud of themselves. Just thought I'd share some good news. There is hope, even for the severely challenged child. I'll let you know next week (the 12th) what the award is for.
The boys have been working hard. Yes, some grumbling along the way. To which I either ignore, or respond with an empathetic "I know it's hard." My husband has been making them dinner. Last night they had chicken strips for the 4th night in a row. Boys not thrilled, but glad to see the light at the end of the tunnel with all their hard work on a chart. Gee, I never thought the boys would tire of Tyson chicken products. Guess there's a first for everything.
I was moved to tears yesterday in this process. Our oldest son called from a school trip yesterday, saying the buses were hours behind schedule. He was calling from a cell, in a crowded space with hundreds of middle schoolers. I thanked him for letting me know. He then said (& remember he's in a crowded place with peers) :
"I love you Mom". I love him too.
He's grown into a place the last few years where public hugging, displays of affection, and God forbid saying "I love you", are really just embarrassing. I think it was huge and so sweet for him to say "I love you" in front of all those kids.
Next item on the list: In the mail yesterday, there was a letter from the school. Me? Cringing at the thought of what's in the envelope. This is the kid who was kicked out of the 6th grade multiple times, he's taken a vacuum cleaner pipe and threatened to kill me, destroyed my personal property, begged his father & I to get a divorce so that he can have two birthday parties & two sets of electronics, etc. Gee, what does the school want now? Quite hesitant, and with a sigh, I opened the envelope. It says "Our staff is pleased to announce that your child will receive an award for outstanding achievement in academics or public service", with details following. I about fell out of my chair. Now, seriously, I don't think the worst in my kid. However, this last couple years, living with his bipolar disorder, ADHD, and ODD, has really had me looking forward to the day he will go live on his own. Sometimes he is so sweet and fun and I relish the time we have together.....knowing it will only be for another few years; other times he seems possessed. I'm digressing.
I wanted to cry. The kid has hope. I've always told him that if you work hard, good things happen. If you build a good reputation for yourself, people assume the best of you and in you. His dad and I were pretty squeaky clean kids (yes I know, gag me). We give him examples of how that helps in life, staying out of trouble, that is. With that though, we tell him none of us is perfect, we've made mistakes too, shared with him the results, and said how "not fun" those situations were.
There is hope.
I really think L&L has saved us. I heard about it in 2001, and have been using it since. Our oldest son was 6yr old at the time, and I wondered if it was too late. He fought L&L, kicking and screaming. He's fought it all this time, with pure venom. I never expect kids to like parenting, but he really takes things to the extreme level. He got home last night & we asked him what this award is for. He has no idea. Honor roll? Nope. He's in the 7th grade, and you have to have top grades for all of 7th grade, plus 1 quarter of 8th grade to get into National Honor Society. So, this is a genuine unique award, just for him. This has really made my decade. The important thing is not that he makes me proud, but that he is proud of himself. We've always told the kids that it's important to do well in school & life, for their own future. Their father and I will not be supporting them financially after a point (college age), so it's in their best interest to do well in school and life. It will not punish us if they do poorly. It will just be sad. We've always had them claim their accolades & consequences in their own name. It's not about pleasing us, it's about them being proud of themselves. Just thought I'd share some good news. There is hope, even for the severely challenged child. I'll let you know next week (the 12th) what the award is for.There is hope.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
He Calls Us
God calls us. He is calling me here:
This has been on my heart for years. Our church makes a mission trip there every year. I will be going in January 2009 with them, and I just signed up for it this morning after services. Our church helps care for the orphans and sick, at a hospital/dental clinic in Haiti.
God calls us to help the orphans. And I answer that call.
God is good. Just this afternoon, thru Deb's blog, I was led to THIS blog. Who knew I went there to see a joke, and found out this family lives in Haiti!
God is good. All the time.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Product Review and Comment by my Kid
I would like to highly recommend Crocs. I bought a pair of Crocs Mary Janes at Disney. They seriously saved my feet. At Disney World, they have these in Women's sizes, so I acquired a pale pink pair with hot pink straps. COMFY!!
Also I would like to highly recommend Revlon Color Stay Active foundation. Stays on all day, waterproof, and has sunscreen. Can't beat that! My face burns easily, yet did not on this trip. WooHoo!!
Last but not least, I got sick of my highlights in my hair. I do not want to pay $75+ to keep them up. I colored my hair with Loreal Color Spa. Thank you Lauri for the recommendation. I love this product!! My hair is silky soft, and the color is great. I tried to match my dark brown hair with one of their two dark brown colors. A DEAD match. Couldn't have been better. Since it washes out in less than a month, I'm going to go a shade lighter next time, and a shade lighter than that the time after that. Play around a little. My hair naturally gets lighter in the summer, so I thought this would be a good time to experiment. And if I don't like it? No problem, color gone in less than a month.
Onto my kid. My youngest child saw me making a latte. He asked "why are you putting WINE in your coffee?"
Ah, son, that would be sugar-free syrup flavoring.
Bleack. Wine in coffee? That will be a pretty sad day if I'm putting wine in coffee. What would that be called? Winoffee? Maybe I would fit in HERE.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Disney World & NASA
Disney World and NASA were great places to visit. There was so much fun to be had, and so many wonderful things to look at, I really don't know where to begin. I will say that generally speaking, Disney World exceeded our expectations. They are the epitome of Customer Service.
We thoroughly enjoyed Disney World, Animal Kingdom, EPCOT, and Hollywood Adventures. We went on a 10 day trip, and one of those days we rented a car & drove to NASA at Cape Canaveral.
I think my husband liked our hotel, the Polynesian, and the rides at the parks the best. I enjoyed all the sites and the flowers. We were there during the EPCOT flower festival. What a beauty of a time of year to go. The flowers did NOT impress my children. The kids liked the wild rides, smoothies, and ice cream the best. Actually my oldest son wants to work at NASA when he grows up, and enjoyed his time there the best. So really a worthwhile side trip.
Additionally we met up with Don & Be one evening at our hotel. We chatted for a few hours and watched the Disney fireworks, which can be seen from the beach at the hotel. Just lovely to meet them in person and lay on the beach to see the show. Somehow I forgot I was wearing the lampshade that evening (?). When the fireworks were over, I tripped on something in the sand and fell thru an Adirondack chair. How? I still haven't quite figured out. It took Don & my oldest son to pull me out of the chair for me to get out of the bars. Sheesh. And by the way, I had NOT been drinking. I just look as if I had been, sitting there in a sundress tangled in a lawn chair. Wow. We should have photographed that!
We really enjoyed the luxury of paying for an upscale version of the trip. You just can't beat the service. We dropped off our luggage at our state airport, and found it in our room in Orlando. Classy. No hassles. Our room was gorgeous, had a deck, and the housekeeping was immaculate. You also can't beat getting the monorail taking you from site to site, as you leisurely feel like riding. Just wonderful. Then there are the shuttle buses that take you around too, for free, from park to park to park. You can pick them up at your Disney Resort Hotel as well.
We prepaid for a food plan, and loved it. We got the plan where each person gets one sit-down meal, one quick meal, and one snack a day. We ate breakfast, a snack, and "linner" as we call it. Really taking the time to eat two meals a day was enough sit down time for us. Worked out well. And with the prepaid dining plan, you can use it all thru the parks, Disney Hotels, and you save 30% on the bill every meal. We enjoyed. You also save 30% in any of the "finer" stores thru the Disney Parks. Every purchase. WooHoo!!!
I really like my Disney Crocs. They are pale pink mary janes, with hot pink straps. Too cute, and they saved my feet from amputation.
The weather was perfect, Upper 80's - Low 90's. Just perfect.
We went swimming every day at our hotel. They have two pools there at the Polynesian, and they are just gorgeous.
I really can't get my mind off all the beautiful horticulture there at the Disney Parks. I saw a book on their gardening schemes, themes, and tips. I wish I'd bought it. If I ever see it again, I'm buying. This really is the most gorgeous time of year to go. The crowds were manageable as well. We went after spring break, and before it gets too hot to bear.
A few of us particularly enjoyed sleeping in!! Two days, my husband and one son who are early birds, went to the parks before 7am. If you are staying at a Disney Hotel, you can enter early and stay late (they have printed schedules of this all thru out the parks each day). The other three of us slept in, took our time, and met up with the others later. Soooooooooo nice.
We thoroughly enjoyed the parades and fireworks. That has to be my favorite part of the trip, in addition to the gardens around the grounds. We saw Fantasmic, the Disney Electric Light Parade (or whatever that's called), and each night we saw the evening fireworks show from our hotel or in the park. Just wonderful.
There's a reason it's called The Happiest Place on Earth. I'll follow up later with another post of pictures.
We thoroughly enjoyed Disney World, Animal Kingdom, EPCOT, and Hollywood Adventures. We went on a 10 day trip, and one of those days we rented a car & drove to NASA at Cape Canaveral.
I think my husband liked our hotel, the Polynesian, and the rides at the parks the best. I enjoyed all the sites and the flowers. We were there during the EPCOT flower festival. What a beauty of a time of year to go. The flowers did NOT impress my children. The kids liked the wild rides, smoothies, and ice cream the best. Actually my oldest son wants to work at NASA when he grows up, and enjoyed his time there the best. So really a worthwhile side trip.
Additionally we met up with Don & Be one evening at our hotel. We chatted for a few hours and watched the Disney fireworks, which can be seen from the beach at the hotel. Just lovely to meet them in person and lay on the beach to see the show. Somehow I forgot I was wearing the lampshade that evening (?). When the fireworks were over, I tripped on something in the sand and fell thru an Adirondack chair. How? I still haven't quite figured out. It took Don & my oldest son to pull me out of the chair for me to get out of the bars. Sheesh. And by the way, I had NOT been drinking. I just look as if I had been, sitting there in a sundress tangled in a lawn chair. Wow. We should have photographed that!
We really enjoyed the luxury of paying for an upscale version of the trip. You just can't beat the service. We dropped off our luggage at our state airport, and found it in our room in Orlando. Classy. No hassles. Our room was gorgeous, had a deck, and the housekeeping was immaculate. You also can't beat getting the monorail taking you from site to site, as you leisurely feel like riding. Just wonderful. Then there are the shuttle buses that take you around too, for free, from park to park to park. You can pick them up at your Disney Resort Hotel as well.
We prepaid for a food plan, and loved it. We got the plan where each person gets one sit-down meal, one quick meal, and one snack a day. We ate breakfast, a snack, and "linner" as we call it. Really taking the time to eat two meals a day was enough sit down time for us. Worked out well. And with the prepaid dining plan, you can use it all thru the parks, Disney Hotels, and you save 30% on the bill every meal. We enjoyed. You also save 30% in any of the "finer" stores thru the Disney Parks. Every purchase. WooHoo!!!
I really like my Disney Crocs. They are pale pink mary janes, with hot pink straps. Too cute, and they saved my feet from amputation.
The weather was perfect, Upper 80's - Low 90's. Just perfect.
We went swimming every day at our hotel. They have two pools there at the Polynesian, and they are just gorgeous.
I really can't get my mind off all the beautiful horticulture there at the Disney Parks. I saw a book on their gardening schemes, themes, and tips. I wish I'd bought it. If I ever see it again, I'm buying. This really is the most gorgeous time of year to go. The crowds were manageable as well. We went after spring break, and before it gets too hot to bear.
A few of us particularly enjoyed sleeping in!! Two days, my husband and one son who are early birds, went to the parks before 7am. If you are staying at a Disney Hotel, you can enter early and stay late (they have printed schedules of this all thru out the parks each day). The other three of us slept in, took our time, and met up with the others later. Soooooooooo nice.
We thoroughly enjoyed the parades and fireworks. That has to be my favorite part of the trip, in addition to the gardens around the grounds. We saw Fantasmic, the Disney Electric Light Parade (or whatever that's called), and each night we saw the evening fireworks show from our hotel or in the park. Just wonderful.
There's a reason it's called The Happiest Place on Earth. I'll follow up later with another post of pictures.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
A trip
My husband and I realized a long time ago, that traveling with children is a trip more than a vacation. We got alot of good chuckles along the way, and thoroughly enjoyed Disney World and NASA.
During the time spent away, I thought of so many things to blog about. I feel as I am not even the same person as I was a few years ago.
With having a vacation, and a chance to read a few books, spending time with just our family, rolling with the punches, and enjoying countless laughs along the way, I realized how different our lives are now. I think getting out of the daily rut and grind gave me a chance to reflect, more so than I have in years. Maybe decades.
I have so many things to blog about:
Disney World adventures
Adoption update
Kids with Special Needs (& traveling with them)
Do's & Don't's for traveling with kids
Grief & loss
My own personal journey: my health & well being
So, I'll start next with the blog about Disney World & NASA, the trip of a lifetime. Memories made on that trip will last a lifetime.
During the time spent away, I thought of so many things to blog about. I feel as I am not even the same person as I was a few years ago.
With having a vacation, and a chance to read a few books, spending time with just our family, rolling with the punches, and enjoying countless laughs along the way, I realized how different our lives are now. I think getting out of the daily rut and grind gave me a chance to reflect, more so than I have in years. Maybe decades.
I have so many things to blog about:
Disney World adventures
Adoption update
Kids with Special Needs (& traveling with them)
Do's & Don't's for traveling with kids
Grief & loss
My own personal journey: my health & well being
So, I'll start next with the blog about Disney World & NASA, the trip of a lifetime. Memories made on that trip will last a lifetime.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
WEAR A HELMET!
A friend of my middle schooler, was riding his bike, and hit by a mini-van. This boy went thru the windshield. His femur was broken in four places and he got a concussion. He WAS wearing a helmet. I really don't know how he could have come out of this positively had he not worn the helmet.
He is in a wheelchair, and recovering from surgery.
In other news, my alcoholic friend really appreciated my emailing her. Melissa pointed out to me that I should have called her or spoke in person (I think that's what you said Melissa). I totally agree that this would have been the best course of action. However, this gal has reacted to that sort of thing with being belligerent, barraging my phone with messages while screaming & swearing, and/or had an emotional crying/screaming breakdown. Sooooooooooooooo, I thought I'd avoid all that crap, and email her. But I'd just like to say that since I've known her forever, anyone like that I would normally communicate with in a medium other than email for grave issues. Anywho, she and I got together today for coffee. She is clean & sober (she says), but dealing with some serious issues. It was great to communicate.
We are off to Disney World Saturday. We couldn't be happier.
He is in a wheelchair, and recovering from surgery.
In other news, my alcoholic friend really appreciated my emailing her. Melissa pointed out to me that I should have called her or spoke in person (I think that's what you said Melissa). I totally agree that this would have been the best course of action. However, this gal has reacted to that sort of thing with being belligerent, barraging my phone with messages while screaming & swearing, and/or had an emotional crying/screaming breakdown. Sooooooooooooooo, I thought I'd avoid all that crap, and email her. But I'd just like to say that since I've known her forever, anyone like that I would normally communicate with in a medium other than email for grave issues. Anywho, she and I got together today for coffee. She is clean & sober (she says), but dealing with some serious issues. It was great to communicate.
We are off to Disney World Saturday. We couldn't be happier.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
The Most Impressive Field Trip I've Ever Heard Of
Last night my son came home and we had the following conversation:
son: Will you sign my form for my field trip?
me & husband: Where is your field trip?
son: To see the Dalai Lama.
us: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!
He proceeds to tell us that the Dalai Lama is coming to town, and his class WON a trip to see him. Hundreds, thousands, of school classes applied for the honor of seeing the Dalai Lama. And my son's class won. I'm still in shock. There will be other classes there as well. But since the location knew tickets would see out immediately, you had to apply to get in. I'm not sure if it was an essay writing contest, lottery, I'm still finding out details.
I asked if I could chaperone. Nope. No chaperones allowed. Only students and one teacher. Hmmmm, I'll have to send the camera with my son that day. It's on April 14, just one day only will the Dalai Lama see kids. I'll post a link to the blog if something shows up in the newspaper or Internet.
In more boring news, I caught two ladies shoplifting Maxi Pads at Target today. Geez, what is this world coming to?
son: Will you sign my form for my field trip?
me & husband: Where is your field trip?
son: To see the Dalai Lama.
us: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!
He proceeds to tell us that the Dalai Lama is coming to town, and his class WON a trip to see him. Hundreds, thousands, of school classes applied for the honor of seeing the Dalai Lama. And my son's class won. I'm still in shock. There will be other classes there as well. But since the location knew tickets would see out immediately, you had to apply to get in. I'm not sure if it was an essay writing contest, lottery, I'm still finding out details.
I asked if I could chaperone. Nope. No chaperones allowed. Only students and one teacher. Hmmmm, I'll have to send the camera with my son that day. It's on April 14, just one day only will the Dalai Lama see kids. I'll post a link to the blog if something shows up in the newspaper or Internet.
In more boring news, I caught two ladies shoplifting Maxi Pads at Target today. Geez, what is this world coming to?
Sunday, March 30, 2008
I Wasn't Expecting to Hear THAT, and Other Happenings
I spoke with the Spa & Salon owner about having complimentary treats there. She said, "I LOVE the idea. But. (long pause). I have an eating disorder. We tried having complimentary treats, the customers loved it, but it was just too hard for me to be around the food."
OK. I really didn't know what to say to that. I'm guessing we're talking bulimia, since she doesn't look anorexic. She looks to be average weight.
So I said, "Well, I could bring treats on Saturdays, the day you will not be there."
She loved the idea. She said to go for it.
I will only bring food that can be eaten without utensils or plate, like Starbucks. Getting into utensils & plates is too much money and trash/washing.
In other news, my husband told me yesterday he wants to move! WHAT?????????????? We really love the kids school district, so feel we want to lock into that geography for now, we are on several acres in the woods, in a 3000+ sq ft custom built home. There are million dollar homes in on our street. Make a long story short, we have a ton of equity in our home, so he thinks we could sell it, move into a slightly less upscale neighborhood than we are currently in, and be debt-free. That is of course hugely appealing. We looked at house plans for a new development going in about ten minutes from us. Gorgeous houses. Only drawback in my opinion is the lots are 4800 sq ft. Where will the kids party, play ball, have camp outs? I guess elsewhere, indoors, etc. This morning we woke up and I asked my husband "So what are your top three reasons for wanting to move?"
He said: "To be debt-free, as in NO MORTGAGE"
I said: "Why don't we just stay here, and I can get a job as a substitute school district Educational Assistant?"
A little background, our school district went to a policy that all the EA's have to have a college degree, about 2.5 yrs ago. There was a 2yr grace period for employees who want to keep their jobs, to get an AA. Immediately. So, they lost many EA's, and substitute EA's. I have a friend who is a sub EA, and she gets called almost every day to work. She can work all week, or a day or two. Totally her call. This appeals to me. I could work 1-2 days a week at this sub EA job, and ALWAYS have my time with my kids.
I could have the 2 part time jobs, work no more than 4 shifts a week (between both jobs), and we'd have more money to pay off debt quicker. I'm liking this idea. Alot.
OK. I really didn't know what to say to that. I'm guessing we're talking bulimia, since she doesn't look anorexic. She looks to be average weight.
So I said, "Well, I could bring treats on Saturdays, the day you will not be there."
She loved the idea. She said to go for it.
I will only bring food that can be eaten without utensils or plate, like Starbucks. Getting into utensils & plates is too much money and trash/washing.
In other news, my husband told me yesterday he wants to move! WHAT?????????????? We really love the kids school district, so feel we want to lock into that geography for now, we are on several acres in the woods, in a 3000+ sq ft custom built home. There are million dollar homes in on our street. Make a long story short, we have a ton of equity in our home, so he thinks we could sell it, move into a slightly less upscale neighborhood than we are currently in, and be debt-free. That is of course hugely appealing. We looked at house plans for a new development going in about ten minutes from us. Gorgeous houses. Only drawback in my opinion is the lots are 4800 sq ft. Where will the kids party, play ball, have camp outs? I guess elsewhere, indoors, etc. This morning we woke up and I asked my husband "So what are your top three reasons for wanting to move?"
He said: "To be debt-free, as in NO MORTGAGE"
I said: "Why don't we just stay here, and I can get a job as a substitute school district Educational Assistant?"
A little background, our school district went to a policy that all the EA's have to have a college degree, about 2.5 yrs ago. There was a 2yr grace period for employees who want to keep their jobs, to get an AA. Immediately. So, they lost many EA's, and substitute EA's. I have a friend who is a sub EA, and she gets called almost every day to work. She can work all week, or a day or two. Totally her call. This appeals to me. I could work 1-2 days a week at this sub EA job, and ALWAYS have my time with my kids.
I could have the 2 part time jobs, work no more than 4 shifts a week (between both jobs), and we'd have more money to pay off debt quicker. I'm liking this idea. Alot.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
I Got the Job
Today I interviewed for the Saturday only job, and it turned into something else entirely!!
The original position was for a receptionist/management at an upscale Salon & Spa, Saturday only (9-5pm). The owner (female) offered me the job last week, and told me to drop by a resume. So I did that. She called last night and asked if I could come in and talk. Her husband was there (he's the other owner). We talked for over an hour, and the whole thing is set in stone now. I start next Friday (training), and my first day on the job is Saturday April 5.
This job has now turned into me being their accountant, also, one additional day per week. Probably in six months or so. They want to phase out their old accountant because he/she costs an arm and a leg. The salon is closed on Mondays, so I can come in to do the accounting every Monday with no one bothering me, during the day.
I wanted to pursue this Saturday only job as opposed to working in the day or evening. If I applied for the Tues-Fri afternoon/evening position, I'd miss four days of my kids sports and activities. Working Saturday will allow me to be at almost all their events. Actually, all three kids are in sports right now (swimming, track, baseball). Only baseball falls on Saturday too. Most of their sports are during the week.
I've avoided looking for accounting/bookkeeping employment because it's mainly 40-60 hours per week, M-F. That leaves me running errands several evenings a week, and thus missing our children's' sports and activities (youth group, etc.). Additionally, getting the kids to doctor/dentist/ortho appts is difficult when working M-F during the day.
I'm really excited. And to boot, I get all salon services complimentary. This includes massage, nails, facials, hair care & color, waxing (ouch), cosmetology, hair/skin products, etc. I do have to pay cost for any product, but that's a steal!! They want me to use as many services as possible so I can promote them. They do not have to ask me twice to get a free massage! Additionally, they want me to go to the styling and skin care classes with the staff. The owners want me informed about everything on the planet so I can help recommend and answer questions for clients, without having them wait for a stylist or owner to come up to the front desk. I love this!! Hair and makeup have been a fascination of mine for decades!
And yes, I will post soon about our thoughts on adopting again. Thanks for your patience there. I know several of you have emailed me about that. The bottom line is we are pro-adoption, desire giving disadvantaged kids a home, and would still like to adopt an older child should God orchestrate it all. Our only requirement is that the child NOT be a predator and/or danger to our family. Safety and keeping our family in tact is of paramount importance. Cheers!!
The original position was for a receptionist/management at an upscale Salon & Spa, Saturday only (9-5pm). The owner (female) offered me the job last week, and told me to drop by a resume. So I did that. She called last night and asked if I could come in and talk. Her husband was there (he's the other owner). We talked for over an hour, and the whole thing is set in stone now. I start next Friday (training), and my first day on the job is Saturday April 5.
This job has now turned into me being their accountant, also, one additional day per week. Probably in six months or so. They want to phase out their old accountant because he/she costs an arm and a leg. The salon is closed on Mondays, so I can come in to do the accounting every Monday with no one bothering me, during the day.
I wanted to pursue this Saturday only job as opposed to working in the day or evening. If I applied for the Tues-Fri afternoon/evening position, I'd miss four days of my kids sports and activities. Working Saturday will allow me to be at almost all their events. Actually, all three kids are in sports right now (swimming, track, baseball). Only baseball falls on Saturday too. Most of their sports are during the week.
I've avoided looking for accounting/bookkeeping employment because it's mainly 40-60 hours per week, M-F. That leaves me running errands several evenings a week, and thus missing our children's' sports and activities (youth group, etc.). Additionally, getting the kids to doctor/dentist/ortho appts is difficult when working M-F during the day.
I'm really excited. And to boot, I get all salon services complimentary. This includes massage, nails, facials, hair care & color, waxing (ouch), cosmetology, hair/skin products, etc. I do have to pay cost for any product, but that's a steal!! They want me to use as many services as possible so I can promote them. They do not have to ask me twice to get a free massage! Additionally, they want me to go to the styling and skin care classes with the staff. The owners want me informed about everything on the planet so I can help recommend and answer questions for clients, without having them wait for a stylist or owner to come up to the front desk. I love this!! Hair and makeup have been a fascination of mine for decades!
And yes, I will post soon about our thoughts on adopting again. Thanks for your patience there. I know several of you have emailed me about that. The bottom line is we are pro-adoption, desire giving disadvantaged kids a home, and would still like to adopt an older child should God orchestrate it all. Our only requirement is that the child NOT be a predator and/or danger to our family. Safety and keeping our family in tact is of paramount importance. Cheers!!
Friday, March 21, 2008
He's a Champion to Me
Our 13yr old wrestled for the first time this year. It's a short 6-7 week season in our area with Junior High/Middle school. He wrestled JV all season and earned a spot into the district championship. Then yesterday he was moved into Varsity for the first time, as the two boys in varsity at his school were either injured or over weight. He did really well & got 4th place in districts. Not bad for his first year, first varsity meet, and being in the young end of the crowd.
His coach thought he did really well for his first varsity day ever, and told him he'll be varsity next year.....and go undefeated ;o)
His coach thought he did really well for his first varsity day ever, and told him he'll be varsity next year.....and go undefeated ;o)
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
I'm Glad My Kids are Supervised
Ya know, I certainly wouldn't want to leave my kids home alone on a regular basis, unsupervised. Yesterday they had the day off of school for a teacher in service day. I heard the following comments:
13 yr old: "I'm taking home-ec (cooking variety) right now in school. This is the most worthless class I've ever taken. I will never use this stuff. Oh, maybe I'll use it in high school (home-ec). This week we have to study kitchen sanitation for four days. FOUR DAYS!" OK, so he's planning on never entering a kitchen? Planning on buying all his food from restaurants? Geez....
11 yr old: "I wonder what would happen if you fry Silly Putty".................
self explanatory reasons why I'm glad I was home for that.
9.5 yr old yells to 11yr old: "HEY! You almost knocked me off the counter!~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
me thinking "why are you on the counter???????????????????????"
13 yr old: "I'm taking home-ec (cooking variety) right now in school. This is the most worthless class I've ever taken. I will never use this stuff. Oh, maybe I'll use it in high school (home-ec). This week we have to study kitchen sanitation for four days. FOUR DAYS!" OK, so he's planning on never entering a kitchen? Planning on buying all his food from restaurants? Geez....
11 yr old: "I wonder what would happen if you fry Silly Putty".................
self explanatory reasons why I'm glad I was home for that.
9.5 yr old yells to 11yr old: "HEY! You almost knocked me off the counter!~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
me thinking "why are you on the counter???????????????????????"
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