He Got It

Thanks for all the comments, feedback, and emails regarding the previous post. At the time I told my husband that it seemed like he was trying to put himself on a pedestal, and leave me the bad guy. So I do communicate, and he didn't care.

Yesterday afternoon I scheduled a massage for myself in the evening. I called my husband and informed him that when he got home, I would be leaving for said massage. I had a wonderful time at this massage and I think I'll get another one in a month. The gal said I have so much tension and inflammation in my shoulders that it's causing me pain in my arms. Also she said that since I sleep in the fetal position, my arms aren't getting enough circulation. So last night I slept with my arms straight out. It was weird, but felt good. She also told me to ice my shoulders.

Anyway, I returned home last night from my massage to see a bouquet of flowers. Including roses. I love roses. And my husband waiting there with open arms for a hug for me. He said while I was gone he had a "sit-down" (stern chat) with our 4yr old about her behavior. Then they went and bought me flowers. I think he now gets that he was an ass the other night, and that behavior won't be productive for our relationship or the parenting of our children. By the way, our 4yr old is back in diapers full time. I think peeing in a pullup three times a day is just too much. Plus we've informed her that she needs to tell us when she has wet panties/pullup so that she can get dry. She refuses to do this. She also refuses to go change on her own into dry panties/pullup. So we are taking that responsibility, control, conflict out of the picture for now.

Today our 4yr old started preschool (12:25pm). She spent about 2/3 of the morning crying before preschool, because she's in a diaper. Guess she had to get her feelings out.

In other news, our 12yr old who has ODD recently got some diagnosis to figure out what is behind the ODD. He has cyclothymia (mild bipolar disorder) and ADHD. Yes, this would explain his behavior and difficulties. I'm glad we are now on a path to help him with these, with lots of ideas and suggestions from the psychologist. This son started wrestling season yesterday. I'm proud of him for trying a new sport, as he's had difficulty being on a team in the past. So much so that he's been kicked off a team, and suspended from others. I think wrestling will be really good for him. It's a really difficult sport, and encourages many positive traits and disciplines. He had a great time at his first practice, and even took a guy down. I hope this will be a great positive outlet for him and all his energy and frustrations.