Tuesday, April 28, 2009

My Visitor

And the visitor was.....................Lisa! That is clickable. Check out her blog for great photos of her trip and the University of Washington & Seattle.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Questions Answered

Yes, my son needed meds for many many years, IMHO. However, it took until late 2007 to get the bipolar & ADD/ADHD diagnosis. With that, the doctors suggested only addressing one medical issue at a time thru meds. We felt the bipolar was the more pressing, so medicated that first, starting in 2008. Gave it a good long time, watched for side affects and negative reactions thru bloodwork. It was all a go. Went to annual physical a few weeks ago, and all discussed adding ADD/ADHD meds on board. We all went for it. Sadly, in our state of WA, a child is in charge of their mental health plan as of age 14. It's appalling and I have no idea who to beat over the head for that rule! But it is what it is. We literally cannot force him to take a single pill. It has to be his choice, and his doing, with his doctor (he's 14). Another thing that did not help is that my spouse thought and believed for over a decade that my son's problems were just a sign of my failure as a parent. Our marriage is still recovering from that. It's a long road. Dealing with a child like this, and a spouse like that. But, we are moving forward.

I do not know an exhaustive list of Tourette's symptoms. My sons are facial/motor ticks and screaming outbursts. He has sworn maybe once ever. He just freaks out and screams uncontrollably, verbally. Too much for a teacher or parent to deal with, unmedicated.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Favorite Blogger in Town

I'm so excited. My all time favorite blogger buddy is in town. We are meeting up today, going cycling (I have two of everything, including bikes), and seeing the sites of Seattle. Any guesses as to who is visiting? One hint: I visited her in the summer of 2007 when we testified in her state in a lawsuit. Don & Be, you are my favorite Blogger couple. When ya gonna come to town?

By the way my 14yr old started ADD/ADHD meds. It's been a miracle. He says he feels so much smarter. We think that translates to, he can focus at home and school, and can make good decisions (most of the time). That is a HUGE improvement. This is the ticket. This is his "stay out of jail" card. Not kidding. It's that much of an improvement for him. We also have doubled the mood stabilizing meds for our 10yr old (Aspergers, Tourette's), seeing as his Tourette's outbursts increased substantially last week. Going much better now that the extra meds have kicked in. Always exiting around here...............

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Behavior Chart

Thanks Lauri for the Behavior Chart (clickable)!!

The Invisible Mother

Found this on the Hoover's blog. It's a must read:

Invisible Mother
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'Obviously not. No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more! Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?? Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm aclock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30,please.'I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude-but now, they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!?One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return ofa friend from England . Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well.It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe . I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: 'To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by t heir faith that the eyes of God saw everything.A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof, No one will ever see it. And the workman replied, 'Because God sees..'I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I seethe sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does.'No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become. At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for 3 hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'You're gonna love it there.'As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built,but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.Great Job, MOM!Share this with all the Invisible Moms you know...I just did. This is beautiful.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Government Conceded that Vaccines Cause Autism

The News!The government has conceded that vaccines cause autism. Read the latest stories in the Huffington Post written by David Kirby and Robert F. Kennedy Jr. featuring the Banks family who recently won a landmark case against the government. Take Action and Support David Kirby and RFK Jr. Lets make this the most read article on the Huffington Post. Please read the article and offer David and Robert your words of praise and pass this information to everyone you know. Age of Autism should have the article up as well.

USA Today: To help spread the word of this tremendous victory, Generation Rescue has placed a powerfully written full-page ad in The USA Today, which hits the stands today, Wednesday, February 25th. Please purchase the paper and hang the ad proudly. Generation Rescue - Press Release Below is the press release that was issued to the media this morning. If you have any media contacts, please feel free to forward this to them with encouragement to tell this story.
Thank you for your support and efforts on this important day.---Government Again Concedes Vaccines Cause AutismMysterious Vaccine Court created in 1986 by the pharmaceutical industry, with the support of Congress, rules in favor of Bailey Banks against HHS.

Los Angeles - February 24, 2009 - Generation Rescue, Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carrey's Los Angeles-based non-profit autism organization, today announced that the United States Government has once again conceded that vaccines cause autism. The announcement comes on the heels of the recently unsealed court case of Bailey Banks vs. HHS. The ruling states, "The Court found that Bailey would not have suffered this delay but for the administration of the MMR vaccine...a proximate sequence of cause and effect leading inexorably from vaccination to PDD [Autism]."In a curious and hypocritical method of operation, the mysterious Vaccine Court not only protects vaccine makers from liability but supports a policy that has tripled the number of vaccines given to U.S. children - all after being made aware of the fact that these vaccines do, in fact, cause autism and repeatedly ruling in favor of families with children hurt by their vaccines."It was heartbreaking to hear about Bailey's story, but through this ruling we are gaining the proof we need to open the eyes of the world to the fact that vaccines do, in fact, cause autism," said Jenny McCarthy, Hollywood actress, autism activist, best-selling author and Generation Rescue board member. "Bailey Banks' regression into autism after vaccination is the same story I went through with my own son and the same story I have heard from thousands of mothers and fathers around the country. Our hope is that this ruling will influence decision and policy-makers to help the hundreds of thousands of children and families affected by this terrible condition."Banks vs. HHS is the second known case where the Vaccine Court could not deny the overwhelming evidence showing vaccines caused a child's autism. The first was the case of Hannah Poling in March of 2008, where the court found in her favor and awarded her family compensation. Jim Carrey, Hollywood legend and Generation Rescue board member, reacted to the news, "It seems the U.S. government is sending mixed messages by telling the world that vaccines don't cause autism, while, at the same time, they are quietly managing a separate 'vaccine court' that is ruling in favor of affected families and finding that vaccines, in fact, were the cause. For most of the autism community the question is no longer whether vaccines caused of their child's autism. The question is why is their government only promoting the rulings that are in favor of the vaccine companies."Why is a secret court, which no one knows about or understands, quietly paying these families for vaccine injuries and autism? Deirdre Imus, Generation Rescue board member and founder of the Deirdre Imus Environmental Center for Pediatric Oncology says, "Over the past 20 years, the vaccine court has dispensed close to $2 billion in compensation to families whose children were injured or killed by a vaccine. I am not against vaccines and my own child has been vaccinated. But, I share the growing concerns of many parents questioning the number of vaccines given to children today, some of the toxic ingredients in vaccines, and whether we know enough about the combination risks associated with the multiple vaccines given to children during critical developmental windows."To help spread the word of the Banks ruling, Generation Rescue also bought a full-page ad that will run in the USA Today on 02/25/2009, which has a daily circulation of 2,272,815. Generation Rescue seeks to answer these questions and many more on a daily basis as they fight for the truth and to recover children with autism around the world. To learn more please visit www.generationrescue.org, write to media@generationrescue.com About Generation Rescue. Generation Rescue is an international movement of scientists, physicians and parent-volunteers researching the causes and treatments for autism and helping thousands of children begin biomedical treatment.Contact: Peter Nilsson, President, Performance Public Relations for Generation Rescue 858.880.5466 x227 and peter@performpr.com

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

The Horse's Behind...............

Anyone see THIS (clickable) episode of Wife Swap? This man really appalled me. I'd be ashamed to be his wife. Nice to see he has some fall out, consequences, and even if his wife is fooled, the rest of the world sees what a horse's behind this man is.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

So Where Have I Been?

Well, happy New Year and all. Been on sabbatical. I ran out of things to write. Been tired and thru a few wars with my 13yr old. Called the police on him three times in the last couple months. Too tired to write about it. Use your imagination. The final time I told my husband that alot of these problems could be alleviated if my husband actually parented. We went to counseling, and lo and behold, the counselor told my husband his head is up his ass. Husband is starting to parent, require the boys respect me and follow rules. Also, 13 yr old boy is a couple days shy of being 14, when in our state you can be formally arrested and have criminal charges brought. Honestly, I'd leave him in jail as long as they'd let me. Show up at the arraignment. That's what professional advice has supported also. So, Boy knows his bluff has been called, I'm not afraid to use a phone to call 911.

In other news, I thoroughly love my job. As an odd strange set of events unfolded, I was offered a long term sub spot in a highly capable class at our local high school. This is probably the only teacher assistant job in a highly capable class. I was floored. It's a business class that is too large for one teacher. Did I say business, as in accounting? yes. This is so up my alley, and I thoroughly enjoy every day of class. And the kids. And the head teacher. It's a dream job, and I'm enjoying it as long as it lasts. This is at the local high school my kids will attend. Which leads me to work with my children's athletic coaches. I spoke with two of them recently because they coach at my sons middle school. Told them how crappy it's been going, getting the police involved and all. Told them I didn't want to sign up my son for wrestling. They asked how he does when he's in sports. Honestly I think his behavior is better because he's too tired to cause as much trouble after a two hour athletic practice, five days a week. The coach said "put him in wrestling. Call me every week. If he's disrespectful, he doesn't get to wrestle at that weeks match." Music to my ears. So, within 24 hr of the last police episode, I had this run-in with the coach, and I shared (while trying to contain my glee) with my son and husband. I explained there are real life consequences to actions. We're a little past time-out and such at this point. My son started wrestling two weeks ago, and his coach said up front that he is not wrestling in the first match of the year since he hit his mother. I am in love.

I will add too, that some additional real life consequences did not work for this son recently, as he was hitting me in public and a school bus of his peers drove by. He then ran away. Long story. He is back and living here. But suffice it to say, he came home crying from school the next day and was crying. I asked why. "Half the school is calling me a douche bag because that school bus of kids saw me hitting my mom." Ah yes, that will happen. More music to my ears.

Now truly I am broken hearted that it has to get to this point. But seriously, I cannot express how thankful that these real world consequences are setting in. Takes the heat off me (cause he just thinks I'm a crazy bitch for wanting say, oh, to get thru a week without calling the police on him).

As a final note, I read a great comment over on the Hoover mom's blog (she's in my sidebar). A mom, Lisa, commented on her concerns about her kids turning out 95% like their bio parents. All the worries and troubles that this envisions. I understand the concern is great. I wrote this comment in response:
"I wanted to respond to a great comment you left over there. Actually you have several great comments, very smart & well thought out. You were discussing how kids are gonna turn out 95% like their bio parents and such. I came from a nightmare home. Can't believe I wasn't taken from my parents. My dad is an addict, and my mom is developmentally delayed and physically disabled (although, that could be a ruse, just to trick the rest into not expecting anything of her). I turned out to be delightful, smart, responsible, and college educated. This was difficult to say the least, with the lack of intelligence and support in my family of origin. I had to grow up parenting the parents. Got a clue when I was 20, moved out, never looked back. I got a bachelors degree in business and accounting from the University of WA, worked as a corporate accountant for many years, have raised three boys (two of which are special needs), been thru international adoption, and our local DSHS domestic adoption processes. I thoroughly benefit from ongoing counseling. I'm lucky that's all I need, considering my biological family. I do not allow my dad any contact with me or my family. My mom, well, I keep her on the outskirts. I refuse to take care of her since I did it my whole childhood. So she lives in Government subsidized Senior Disability Housing. Works for all of us. Anyway, feel free to connect with me. I'm an adult who survived an unthinkable upbringing. I could be the minority, but it does happen. I'm not a criminal, psychopath, sociopath, or trouble maker. I may have a big mouth, but I'm pretty harmless."

Really for me, I have to draw the line at safety, sexual abuse, crime. Those are the reasons I've gotten the state and police involved with our kids whether it's for bio kids or adopted kids. And sometimes it's not best for kids to continue to live in the same home if others are in danger. Sometimes it can be worked out. But as far as the health and educational needs of kids, I know the heartache all too well also. I'll post more soon about our youngest. I've gotten him into Children's Hospital lately for some permanent health issues. To add to his alphabet soup of diagnoses, we have now added Tourette's syndrome.

Truth is stranger than fiction I've come to believe.
Hope you are all well and prospering. I keep up on the blogs I read, just comment rarely. Blessings to you, Esther