tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-49683970462522161872024-03-12T22:24:07.666-07:00Kids Special NeedsODD, Aspergers Syndrome, Adoption and IssuesKids Special Needshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07297507778283892422noreply@blogger.comBlogger155125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4968397046252216187.post-43621930886925123902009-04-28T04:18:00.000-07:002009-04-28T04:20:20.025-07:00My VisitorAnd the visitor was.....................<a href="http://lisarenniadoption.blogspot.com/2009/04/surprise.html"><strong><em><span style="font-size:130%;">Lisa</span></em></strong></a>! That is clickable. Check out her blog for great photos of her trip and the University of Washington & Seattle.Kids Special Needshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07297507778283892422noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4968397046252216187.post-61656334611206890522009-04-26T19:01:00.000-07:002009-04-26T19:07:12.728-07:00Questions AnsweredYes, my son needed <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">meds</span> for many many years, IMHO. However, it took until late 2007 to get the bipolar & ADD/<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">ADHD</span> diagnosis. With that, the doctors suggested only addressing one medical issue at a time <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">thru</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">meds</span>. We felt the bipolar was the more pressing, so medicated that first, starting in 2008. Gave it a good long time, watched for side affects and negative reactions <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">thru</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">bloodwork</span>. It was all a go. Went to annual physical a few weeks ago, and all discussed adding ADD/<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">ADHD</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">meds</span> on board. We all went for it. Sadly, in our state of WA, a child is in charge of their mental health plan as of age 14. It's <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">appalling</span> and I have no idea who to beat over the head for that rule! But it is what it is. We literally cannot force him to take a single pill. It has to be his choice, and his doing, with his doctor (he's 14). Another thing that did not help is that my spouse thought and believed for over a decade that my son's problems were just a sign of my failure as a parent. Our marriage is still recovering from that. It's a long road. Dealing with a child like this, and a spouse like that. But, we are moving forward.<br /><br />I do not know an exhaustive list of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">Tourette's</span> symptoms. My sons are facial/motor ticks and screaming outbursts. He has sworn maybe once ever. He just freaks out and screams uncontrollably, verbally. Too much for a teacher or parent to deal with, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">unmedicated</span>.Kids Special Needshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07297507778283892422noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4968397046252216187.post-35864685920451997962009-04-24T06:31:00.000-07:002009-04-24T06:37:39.698-07:00Favorite Blogger in TownI'm so excited. My all time favorite blogger buddy is in town. We are meeting up today, going cycling (I have two of everything, including bikes), and seeing the sites of Seattle. Any guesses as to who is visiting? One hint: I visited her in the summer of 2007 when we testified in her state in a lawsuit. Don & Be, you are my favorite Blogger couple. When ya gonna come to town?<br /><br />By the way my 14yr old started ADD/<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">ADHD</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">meds</span>. It's been a miracle. He says he feels so much smarter. We think that translates to, he can focus at home and school, and can make good decisions (most of the time). That is a HUGE improvement. This is the ticket. This is his "stay out of jail" card. Not kidding. It's that much of an improvement for him. We also have doubled the mood stabilizing <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">meds</span> for our 10yr old (As<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">pergers</span>, T<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">ourette's</span>), seeing as his <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Tourette's</span> outbursts increased substantially last week. Going much better now that the extra <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">meds</span> have kicked in. Always exiting around here...............Kids Special Needshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07297507778283892422noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4968397046252216187.post-24422770219337628812009-04-04T07:31:00.000-07:002009-04-04T07:32:39.607-07:00Behavior ChartThanks Lauri for the <a href="http://mofas.org/download_files/OverlappingChar.pdf">Behavior Chart</a> (clickable)!!Kids Special Needshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07297507778283892422noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4968397046252216187.post-49709254319508751802009-04-04T07:07:00.000-07:002009-04-04T07:10:38.816-07:00The Invisible MotherFound this on the Hoover's blog. It's a must read:<br /><br />Invisible Mother<br />It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'Obviously not. No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">or sweeping</span> the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">because no</span> one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">I am</span> only a pair of hands, nothing more! Can you fix this? Can you <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">tie this</span>? Can you open this?? Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">aclock</span> to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, '<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">What number</span> is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30,please.'I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">the eyes</span> that studied history and the mind that graduated <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">summa</span> cum <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">laude</span>-but now, they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">seen again</span>. She's going, she's going, she's gone!?One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">ofa</span> friend from England . Janice had just gotten back from a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">fabulous trip</span>, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">was sitting</span> there, looking around at the others all put together so well.It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">feeling pretty</span> pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">wrapped package</span>, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">great cathedrals</span> of Europe . I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">me until</span> I read her inscription: 'To Charlotte, with admiration for <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">the greatness</span> of what you are building when no one sees.'In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18">would discover</span> what would become for me, four life-changing truths, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19">after which</span> I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_20">great cathedrals</span> - we have no record of their names. These builders <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_21">gave their</span> whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_22">made great</span> sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_23">building was</span> fueled by t heir faith that the eyes of God saw everything.A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_24">the cathedral</span> while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_25">tiny bird</span> on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, '<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_26">Why are</span> you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_27">will be</span> covered by the roof, No one will ever see it. And the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_28">workman replied</span>, 'Because God sees..'I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_29">was almost</span> as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I seethe sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does.'No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_30">cupcake you've</span> baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_31">are building</span> a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_32">will become</span>. At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_33">a disease</span> that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_34">my own</span> self-<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_35">centeredness</span>. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_36">As one</span> of the people who show up at a job that they will never <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_37">see finished</span>, to work on something that their name will never be on. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_38">The writer</span> of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_39">ever be</span> built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_40">to sacrifice</span> to that degree.When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_41">friend he's</span> bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_42">a turkey</span> for 3 hours and presses all the linens for the table.' <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_43">That would</span> mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_44">him to</span> want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_45">his friend</span>, to add, 'You're gonna love it there.'As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_46">We cannot</span> be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_47">very possible</span> that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built,but at the beauty that has been <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_48">added to</span> the world by the sacrifices <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_49">of invisible</span> women.Great Job, MOM!Share this with all the Invisible Moms you know...I just did. This is beautiful.Kids Special Needshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07297507778283892422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4968397046252216187.post-25319755037155293082009-02-25T06:27:00.000-08:002009-02-25T06:32:20.696-08:00Government Conceded that Vaccines Cause AutismThe News!The government has conceded that vaccines cause autism. Read the latest stories in the <a href="http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?et=1102475605887&e=001dFrzOPonZbYCrveGrenh1oTf-lYEzgRuox-b0dIMbvvM5hf7qsLlYQHkbn6SCDiWKfIeJduzTvm7CfyfB6KZeEYFdLYb6Q8gy65QNsq7kkyhYOoO4tyHDbbLJptey0C2O4kO7LkPWQCUMvzztc8Wbzq8xhF7ry0aVtleSJDJGxrFu9eqgIs0gRXqEycr5VqtDX9ZUgkVcO0VS8Ss_qQo2oq37nLlTWyI" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">Huffington Post</a> written by David Kirby and Robert F. Kennedy Jr. featuring the Banks family who recently won a landmark case against the government. Take Action and Support David Kirby and RFK Jr. <a href="http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?et=1102475605887&e=001dFrzOPonZbYCrveGrenh1oTf-lYEzgRuox-b0dIMbvvM5hf7qsLlYQHkbn6SCDiWKfIeJduzTvm7CfyfB6KZeEYFdLYb6Q8gy65QNsq7kkyhYOoO4tyHDbbLJptey0C2O4kO7LkPWQCUMvzztc8Wbzq8xhF7ry0aVtleSJDJGxrFu9eqgIs0gRXqEycr5VqtDX9ZUgkVcO0VS8Ss_qQo2oq37nLlTWyI" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">Lets make this the most read article on the Huffington Post</a>. Please read the article and offer David and Robert your words of praise and pass this information to everyone you know. Age of Autism should have the article up as well. <br /><br />USA Today: To help spread the word of this tremendous victory, Generation Rescue has placed a powerfully written full-page ad in The USA Today, which hits the stands today, Wednesday, February 25th. Please purchase the paper and hang the ad proudly. Generation Rescue - Press Release Below is the press release that was issued to the media this morning. If you have any media contacts, please feel free to forward this to them with encouragement to tell this story.<br />Thank you for your support and efforts on this important day.---Government Again Concedes Vaccines Cause AutismMysterious Vaccine Court created in 1986 by the pharmaceutical industry, with the support of Congress, rules in favor of Bailey Banks against HHS.<br /><br />Los Angeles - February 24, 2009 - Generation Rescue, Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carrey's Los Angeles-based non-profit autism organization, today announced that the United States Government has once again conceded that vaccines cause autism. The announcement comes on the heels of the recently unsealed court case of Bailey Banks vs. HHS. The ruling states, "The Court found that Bailey would not have suffered this delay but for the administration of the MMR vaccine...a proximate sequence of cause and effect leading inexorably from vaccination to PDD [Autism]."In a curious and hypocritical method of operation, the mysterious Vaccine Court not only protects vaccine makers from liability but supports a policy that has tripled the number of vaccines given to U.S. children - all after being made aware of the fact that these vaccines do, in fact, cause autism and repeatedly ruling in favor of families with children hurt by their vaccines."It was heartbreaking to hear about Bailey's story, but through this ruling we are gaining the proof we need to open the eyes of the world to the fact that vaccines do, in fact, cause autism," said Jenny McCarthy, Hollywood actress, autism activist, best-selling author and Generation Rescue board member. "Bailey Banks' regression into autism after vaccination is the same story I went through with my own son and the same story I have heard from thousands of mothers and fathers around the country. Our hope is that this ruling will influence decision and policy-makers to help the hundreds of thousands of children and families affected by this terrible condition."Banks vs. HHS is the second known case where the Vaccine Court could not deny the overwhelming evidence showing vaccines caused a child's autism. The first was the case of Hannah Poling in March of 2008, where the court found in her favor and awarded her family compensation. Jim Carrey, Hollywood legend and Generation Rescue board member, reacted to the news, "It seems the U.S. government is sending mixed messages by telling the world that vaccines don't cause autism, while, at the same time, they are quietly managing a separate 'vaccine court' that is ruling in favor of affected families and finding that vaccines, in fact, were the cause. For most of the autism community the question is no longer whether vaccines caused of their child's autism. The question is why is their government only promoting the rulings that are in favor of the vaccine companies."Why is a secret court, which no one knows about or understands, quietly paying these families for vaccine injuries and autism? Deirdre Imus, Generation Rescue board member and founder of the Deirdre Imus Environmental Center for Pediatric Oncology says, "Over the past 20 years, the vaccine court has dispensed close to $2 billion in compensation to families whose children were injured or killed by a vaccine. I am not against vaccines and my own child has been vaccinated. But, I share the growing concerns of many parents questioning the number of vaccines given to children today, some of the toxic ingredients in vaccines, and whether we know enough about the combination risks associated with the multiple vaccines given to children during critical developmental windows."To help spread the word of the Banks ruling, Generation Rescue also bought a full-page ad that will run in the USA Today on 02/25/2009, which has a daily circulation of 2,272,815. Generation Rescue seeks to answer these questions and many more on a daily basis as they fight for the truth and to recover children with autism around the world. To learn more please visit <a href="http://www.generationrescue.org/" target="_blank">www.generationrescue.org</a>, write to <a href="mailto:media@generationrescue.com">media@generationrescue.com</a> About Generation Rescue. Generation Rescue is an international movement of scientists, physicians and parent-volunteers researching the causes and treatments for autism and helping thousands of children begin biomedical treatment.Contact: Peter Nilsson, President, Performance Public Relations for Generation Rescue 858.880.5466 x227 and peter@performpr.comKids Special Needshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07297507778283892422noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4968397046252216187.post-86693507080753188952009-02-11T16:11:00.000-08:002009-02-11T16:13:57.249-08:00The Horse's Behind...............Anyone see <a href="http://tv.yahoo.com/blog/husbands-behaving-badly--120"><span style="font-size:130%;color:#000099;"><strong><em>THIS</em></strong></span></a> (<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">clickable</span>) episode of Wife Swap? This man really <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">appalled</span> me. I'd be ashamed to be his wife. Nice to see he has some fall out, consequences, and even if his wife is fooled, the rest of the world sees what a horse's behind this man is.Kids Special Needshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07297507778283892422noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4968397046252216187.post-24449732848403480672009-02-08T04:12:00.000-08:002009-02-08T04:33:03.015-08:00So Where Have I Been?Well, happy New Year and all. Been on <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">sabbatical</span>. I ran out of things to write. Been tired and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">thru</span> a few wars with my 13yr old. Called the police on him three times in the last couple months. Too tired to write about it. Use your imagination. The final time I told my husband that <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">alot</span> of these problems could be <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">alleviated</span> if my husband actually parented. We went to counseling, and lo and behold, the counselor told my husband his head is up his ass. Husband is starting to parent, require the boys respect me and follow rules. Also, 13 yr old boy is a couple days shy of being 14, when in our state you can be formally arrested and have criminal charges brought. Honestly, I'd leave him in jail as long as they'd let me. Show up at the arraignment. That's what professional advice has supported also. So, Boy knows his bluff has been called, I'm not afraid to use a phone to call 911.<br /><br />In other news, I thoroughly love my job. As an odd strange set of events unfolded, I was offered a long term sub spot in a highly capable class at our local high school. This is probably the only teacher assistant job in a highly capable class. I was floored. It's a business class that is too large for one teacher. Did I say business, as in accounting? yes. This is so up my alley, and I thoroughly enjoy every day of class. And the kids. And the head teacher. It's a dream job, and I'm enjoying it as long as it lasts. This is at the local high school my kids will attend. Which leads me to work with my <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">children's</span> athletic coaches. I spoke with two of them recently because they coach at my sons middle school. Told them how crappy it's been going, getting the police involved and all. Told them I didn't want to sign up my son for wrestling. They asked how he does when he's in sports. Honestly I think his behavior is better because he's too tired to cause as much trouble after a two hour athletic practice, five days a week. The coach said "put him in wrestling. Call me every week. If he's <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">disrespectful</span>, he doesn't get to wrestle at that weeks match." Music to my ears. So, within 24 hr of the last police episode, I had this run-in with the coach, and I shared (while trying to contain my glee) with my son and husband. I explained there are real life consequences to actions. We're a little past time-out and such at this point. My son started wrestling two weeks ago, and his coach said up front that he is not wrestling in the first match of the year since he hit his mother. I am in love.<br /><br />I will add too, that some additional real life consequences did not work for this son recently, as he was hitting me in public and a school bus of his peers drove by. He then ran away. Long story. He is back and living here. But suffice it to say, he came home crying from school the next day and was crying. I asked why. "Half the school is calling me a douche bag because that school bus of kids saw me hitting my mom." Ah yes, that will happen. More music to my ears.<br /><br />Now truly I am broken hearted that it has to get to this point. But seriously, I cannot express how thankful that these real world consequences are setting in. Takes the heat off me (cause he just thinks I'm a crazy bitch for wanting say, oh, to get <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">thru</span> a week without calling the police on him).<br /><br />As a final note, I read a great comment over on the Hoover mom's blog (she's in my sidebar). A mom, Lisa, commented on her concerns about her kids turning out 95% like their bio parents. All the worries and troubles that this envisions. I understand the concern is great. I wrote this comment in response:<br />"I wanted to respond to a great comment you left over there. Actually you have several great comments, very smart & well thought out. You were discussing how kids are gonna turn out 95% like their bio parents and such. I came from a nightmare home. Can't believe I wasn't taken from my parents. My dad is an addict, and my mom is developmentally delayed and physically disabled (although, that could be a ruse, just to trick the rest into not expecting anything of her). I turned out to be delightful, smart, responsible, and college educated. This was difficult to say the least, with the lack of intelligence and support in my family of origin. I had to grow up parenting the parents. Got a clue when I was 20, moved out, never looked back. I got a bachelors degree in business and accounting from the University of WA, worked as a corporate accountant for many years, have raised three boys (two of which are special needs), been <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">thru</span> international adoption, and our local <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">DSHS</span> domestic adoption processes. I thoroughly benefit from ongoing counseling. I'm lucky that's all I need, considering my biological family. I do not allow my dad any contact with me or my family. My mom, well, I keep her on the outskirts. I refuse to take care of her since I did it my whole childhood. So she lives in Government subsidized Senior Disability Housing. Works for all of us. Anyway, feel free to connect with me. I'm an adult who survived an unthinkable <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">upbringing</span>. I could be the minority, but it does happen. I'm not a criminal, psychopath, sociopath, or trouble maker. I may have a big mouth, but I'm pretty harmless."<br /><br />Really for me, I have to draw the line at safety, sexual abuse, crime. Those are the reasons I've gotten the state and police involved with our kids whether it's for bio kids or adopted kids. And sometimes it's not best for kids to continue to live in the same home if others are <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">in danger</span>. Sometimes it can be worked out. But as far as the health and educational needs of kids, I know the heartache all too well also. I'll post more soon about our youngest. I've gotten him into <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">Children's</span> Hospital lately for some permanent health issues. To add to his alphabet soup of diagnoses, we have now added <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">Tourette's</span> syndrome.<br /><br />Truth is stranger than fiction I've come to believe.<br />Hope you are all well and prospering. I keep up on the blogs I read, just comment rarely. Blessings to you, EstherKids Special Needshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07297507778283892422noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4968397046252216187.post-57842581415592674222008-11-22T07:16:00.000-08:002008-11-22T18:21:26.501-08:00The Adoption Arena ResurfacesSince we disrupted, we have put all things adoption on hold. We are not trying, waiting, holding our breath. We have been moving forward, grieving, healing, and creating a new life. This week the adoption arena resurfaced. I was not expecting this, but it has been a joyful blessing, albeit, a little bittersweet.<br /><br /><br /><p>The executive director of our domestic adoption agency got in touch with us. She told me our SW never told her we disrupted. This was news to her this week. Our SW buried our files off-site in storage, and only just now are the head honchos finding out what really happened. They called to find out from us, in our words, what happened. They want us to foster and/or adopt again. But more interesting, they want us to be a source on disruption for their staff and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">PAP's</span>. Again, interesting. She apologized for what we went <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">thru</span>, what the state put us <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">thru</span>, and how inept our SW was. She said what happened to us just should not happen to people. Putting a completely disturbed dangerous child in our care, and the state denying her medical/mental resources was just <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">ghastly</span>. I emailed her documents we had on our case and the girls, and emails I'd sent our SW during our case. She sent us the following email:</p><p>"Thank you for taking the time to put the documents together for me. I know that it is hard to have to rehash and some what relive this sad time of your life. I am praying that the Lord will use you to bring light to any other situations like yours. I pray that the Lord will give you strength and guidance. Also I pray for healing, I am so sorry how you have been hurt for opening your home and heart for these girls and also the rest of your family.<br />I am so glad that you called and shared with me so honestly what happened to your family. I would like to continue to have other conversations with you so that <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">XYZ</span> Adoptions* can learn and be taught through you very sad experience.<br />My prayers for you, (signed by exec <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">dir</span>)"</p><p>signed. received. We are blessed to hear this news and know our adoption agency wants this. We are more than happy to help in any way possible, help their staff, help families, whatnot. I told her we are not ready to foster and/or adopt at this moment, but we have not closed the door on it. We just need more time to heal, more time to spend on our marriage, more time in general.</p><p>As a bonus, the girls bio family has gotten our address and phone number (I have no idea how, but guessing DSHS gave it out). They are using our address & phone number for their <strong><em>bills</em></strong>. Nice. I should not be surprised any more. And of course these people do not pay their bills, so bill collectors are calling. Good times. Thru my investigation of all this, without giving out alot of details, it looks like the girls have been thru yet another disruption. I was told they are back with the foster family.</p><p>*not real name</p>Kids Special Needshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07297507778283892422noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4968397046252216187.post-80472269109357880312008-11-12T06:53:00.001-08:002008-11-12T08:05:27.158-08:00The Sheriff Said to Beat Our Son's AssToday I'm uncharacteristically tired. Maybe it's par for the course considering all that has happened this last week.<br /><br />The good news is, work is wonderful. I've been subbing pretty much every day, and I love it. Did I mention how much I love it? I really have a particular fondness for the older kids, junior high and high school. I took myself off the sub list for the 19-21yr old students. A few are sweet, but <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">alot</span> are there because they have not passed the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">WASL</span> (standardized state testing), so they cannot get their diploma, they are there trying to study to get a food handlers license. These kids along with some of the severely mentally retarded leave too big of a chance of getting violent with me. Chairs are thrown, kids run away (& the policy is to chase them down), they manhandle the staff. The staff is just supposed to deal with it. I already have a permanent spine injury and disc issues. Not going to chance worsening that. All of these "kids" are far bigger than me for the most part. I discussed it with the district and my DH. Best for me to choose to not sub there. Other than that, I LOVE WORK! And to boot, I can ride my bike to work at several of the locations. Love that.<br /><br />Now for the meat of the post. I thought things were going so well with the kids <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">meds</span>. Until last Thursday. Just because I asked our 13yr old (who is bipolar & has <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">ADHD</span>) to pick up dog poo, this set off a chain of actions that were just ridiculous. This was in the morning before school, so DH not around. Much defiance, not gonna clean up dog poo off the carpet. He does not like the consequences I throw down. So he then throws about half a bottle of carpet cleaner (gallon bottle) over a five foot section of the carpet (the dog poo covered a few inches). I tell him he will have to miss out on allowance to pay for the cleaner he just wasted. The younger two kids went to school. The 13yr old starts threatening me. I call DH. He says "why do you let it get this far out of hand?" I said "fuck off" (not my finest Titus Woman moment) and hung up on him. Boy is still threatening me and refusing to get in the car for school. I called the police. I stayed on the phone with them, waiting for the cop to show up, so they could hear the boy threatening me and screaming. I wanted it on record. The boy is threatening me and wanting to call dad (like <strong><em>that</em></strong> will rescue him?). He grabs another phone, but it will not work for him since I'm on the same line with the police. He tries my cell, but this has never worked at my home because we live in the boonies. For the coup <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">de</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">graw</span>, he jumps me and takes the phone away, running away from home. Calls his dad. I took my cell, locked him out of the house, and drove down the street to call the police back. Big mistake to jump me to get the phone. Not regretting calling the police one bit.<br /><br />Reminder: this is all because he was told to clean up dog poo.<br /><br />DH came home from work, I pulled in right after him, then the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">sheriff</span> got here. Son came home once he saw dad and sat at the dining room table. The <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">sheriff</span> came in with bullet proof vest and hand on his gun. I now have a crush on the sheriff, but that's another story. I briefed the sheriff on the situation, including the fact that the boy is bipolar & <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">ADHD</span>. Not an excuse for his behavior, but disclosing the facts. Then here's how the conversation went:<br /><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">Sheriff</span>: Do you beat your son?<br />us: nope<br />Sheriff: Do you slap him across the face.<br />us: nope<br />Sheriff: WELL WHY THE HELL NOT?<br />me: the boy is bigger and faster than me, and I don't want CPS taking all my kids because we spank and discipline harshly the one who is really out of control.<br />Sheriff (looking at my husband): What's wrong with you? If my son treated my wife like that, I'd beat his ass. (Sheriff looking at boy): Boy, if you talk to me that way I'll throw you on a wall and beat you. If I see you in public treating me or your mom that way, I'm going to beat your ass and throw you in jail.<br /><br />Oh, I heart the sheriff. He ripped my DH and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">DS</span> up one side and down the other. Sheriff is proceeding to nail my son to a cross. He asks my son if he's peeing his pants yet. Son says "no". Sheriff says "well, then you can control yourself. You just choose to treat your mom this way. You are lazy. You have no idea what a well kept <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">extravagant</span> home you live in here, and you think it's all not good enough. Try running away again. Your parents can change the locks, report you as a runaway (so they are not charged with neglect and abandonment), and you'll be in a gutter peeing & pooping your pants, starving. No one will care about you. The only ones who care are your parents." This went on 30-40 minutes. It was awesome.<br /><br />We told the sheriff we do not spank because in our state you can have ALL your kids taken away for that. Told him I feel castrated as a parent. He shook his head and said basically the schools misinform people, telling kids they have all these rights and that they, as kids, can call CPS for protection when kids don't like what is going on at home. Truly tragic for the parents merely setting boundaries and consequences. The schools don't tell the kids that they need to call CPS for ABUSE. They fail to inform the kids that they can't call CPS just because they got their iPod taken away. He proceeds to hand us a copy of our state laws on spanking. Here is what the law says for the state of WA:<br /><br />USE OF FORCE ON CHILDREN<br />rcw9a.16.100 Use of force on children--policy-actions presumed unreasonable<br /><br />It is the policy of this state to protect children from assault and abuse and to encourage parents, teachers and their authorized agents to use methods of correction and restraint of children that are not <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">dangerous</span> to the children.<br /><br /><strong><em>HOWEVER, the physical discipline of a child is not unlawful when it is reasonable and moderate and is inflicted by a <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">parent</span>, teacher or guardian for the purpose of restraining or correcting the child.</em></strong><br /><strong><em></em></strong><br />Any use of force on a child by any other person is unlawful unless ti is reasonable and moderate and is authorized in advance by the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">child's</span> parent or guardian for the purpose of restraining or correcting the child.<br /><br />***The following actions are presumed unreasonable when used to correct or restrain a child:<br />1. throwing, kicking, burning, or cutting a child<br />2. striking a child with a closed fist<br />3. shaking a child under three<br />4. interfering with a child's breathing<br />5. threatening a child with a deadly weapon<br />6. doing any other act that is likely to cause and which does cause bodily harm<br />greater than a transient pain or minor temporary marks.<br /><br />"The age, size, and condition of the child and the location of the injury shall be considered when determining whether the bodily harm is reasonable or moderate. This list is illustrative of unreasonable actions and is not intended to be exclusive."<br /><br />SO, we asked what are appropriate means of disciplining the child that will not have CPS entering the picture. He said if it was one of his six kids, he'd have our son running lines until he passes out or pukes, spanked with a paddle, take the bedroom door off the hinges, keep calling the police to keep a record going, and defend myself. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">Alot</span> of this will be handed down by my DH considering the boy is larger than me. The sheriff left us with the remark that I'm the boss of the boy. If the boy doesn't like that, than the sheriff will be the boss of the boy. The boy only gets this one warning, and it is on record at that. Next time I call the police, he'll go to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">juvie</span> hall (under age 14) or jail (age 14 and older). At the jail, I can press charges, then the boy will be sent to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">juvie</span> to await a hearing and <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18">sentencing</span>.<br /><br />This has really taken a toll on me. To further it all, I decided to sign up for a self-defense course. <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19">Unfortunately</span> there are none around here. But I found some down at <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_20">UW</span>, and I will be taking the classes (January). If the boy jumps me again, he'll regret it. Hopefully he'll be able to have children when I'm done taking him down.<br /><br />I'm struggling with this as well because my DH thinks I should just be able to magically put up with all this, magically keep the boy in order, denies the notion that the boy has bipolar disorder despite three shrinks and our PCP agreeing with diagnosis. This is hard on our marriage. He told me if I get the boy thrown in jail, he'll divorce me (if <em><strong>I </strong></em>get the boy thrown in jail? uh, it's the boys actions that would get him thrown in jail). I told him if he can't support me, him divorcing me would be a gift. Apparently he supports me because he's spanked the boy twice since Thursday. He is not supportive of me taking the self defense classes. sigh........<br /><br />Let's hope things are looking up from here!! I'm still a #1 supporter and promoter of Love and Logic parenting. The boy got kicked off the school bus for three days a couple weeks ago (for dangerous behavior). I told the school my DH will drive him in the morning because it's dark, but the boy can walk his butt home every day. All six miles. I think he now thinks the bus is <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_21">alot</span> more fun than walking home. Just because the kids create a problem, doesn't mean <strong><em>I</em></strong> have to be punished. I told the principal I would prefer if they did not suspend kids, but instead had them wash <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_22">busses</span> at the bus barn in 40 degree weather for four days. But I'm sure the school district is not interested in Love and Logic parenting..............Kids Special Needshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07297507778283892422noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4968397046252216187.post-28162414596575074532008-10-20T06:01:00.000-07:002008-10-20T06:25:59.118-07:00Weekend HangoverEver feel like you have a hangover on Monday morning just from doing so much all weekend? I think I have one of those. Too much weekend!<br /><br />I actually had one of the most fun weekends ever, just packed full of activity.<br /><br />Let's back up to Wednesday. Dyed my hair with a home color (box from drugstore). It was supposed to be <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">light brown</span>. Turned out almost black. Got really emotional & all across the board with it. Then realized: it's only hair! I think I look like a <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Hispanic</span> with blue eyes. I'm sticking with it for a while. However, I'm making a coloring <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">appt</span> with a stylist in a few weeks to see what I'm doing wrong. Washed my couch slipcovers (remember this for future reference).<br /><br />Thursday. Shopped and cooked for my 10yr <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">old's</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">bday</span> party. Took the puppy in to get spayed.<br /><br />Friday. Went to work at one of the local <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">high schools</span>. Got a call from my 11yr old saying the dog threw up on the couch. Poor kid (& puppy). So the 11yr old had to clean up the couch & wash the couch cover. When I work at the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">high school</span>, the 11 & 10yr old are home for less than an hour, and then they get on the school bus. Anyway, I worked at the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">high school</span>. Showed up to find <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">Mardi</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">Gras</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">ie</span>.., HOMECOMING! Wish I knew this ahead of time so I could have dressed accordingly. This was actually really really fun, and brought back so many great memories. I was in the Self-Contained room for the day. So I walked with a mentally retarded girl & a downs syndrome boy <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">thru</span> the city parade. Yes, our local <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">high school</span> goes ape with homecoming, including a mid-day city parade. 2400 students plus many locals are in the parade. CRAZY! Went to work and ended up in a parade. Quite a day. After the parade we went to the pep assembly. Best day of work I've ever been to!<br />Friday evening we had our 10yr <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">old's</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">bday</span> party/sleepover. Three boys came, thank GOD! Apparently he is able to retain friends! Whew! Then I went in the wee hours of the night to retrieve my 13yr old from the local homecoming game. He went with his football coach & friends from the middle school.<br /><br />Saturday. Got <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">thru</span> breakfast & exiting the 10yr <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">olds</span>. Sleepovers always seem to end in such lack of sleep that children are psychotic. We noticed this all morning. I proceeded to tell the boys to take a nap. They asked how long? I said until dinner.<br />I went for a job interview (part-time) at Home Depot. On top of our eye surgery bills & putting two kids in braces, I now <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally</span> need hearing aids. I've needed them for about five years, but put it off. They cost about $7K for the type I need, and our insurance covers 30%. Apparently I work to pay the medical bills. The thing that gets me is we have really good insurance. Yet how can there be so many services not covered? <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18">ARGH</span>. Anyway.<br />Early evening I went to my make-shift <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19">high school</span> reunion at a local roadhouse. My husband said I must be off to go whoring at the roadhouse. Nice. Actually the whole thing was so much fun, dozens of old classmates came, and was a huge success. People have requested doing this more often than annually. So we will make it semi-annual. My friend C & I ran the whole thing with the roadhouse owner (went to school with him). I rolled into my bed at about 2:30am. I was the designated driver, so stayed until the end. <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_20">Fortunately</span> no one needed a ride home.<br /><br />Sunday. Got up at 6:30am to go to church. Don't remember much after that seeing as I was so tired! I recall taking a nap, doing some ironing, and taking the kids out to lunch. Maybe it was a dream. Tried to figure out how the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_21">DirecTV</span> box is not working in the family room. Figure it got broken during the sleepover. Won't bother me for the kids to be out of a TV! This is my dream come true!!! Told the kids and my husband there's really no incentive for me to get the box fixed. I would have to take a day off work without pay to wait around for the repair man, pay $75/hr for a repairman, and pay for supplies/product. Works for me to go without the kids <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_22">tv</span>. (Silently rolling on floor laughing a maniacal laugh).<br /><br />Today. I thought I would be going to work to recover from all the weekend activities, ya know, go to work to relax! Then I remembered it's a teacher <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_23">in service</span> day. I will relax tomorrow.Kids Special Needshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07297507778283892422noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4968397046252216187.post-72854358543826993842008-10-14T08:58:00.000-07:002008-10-14T09:01:46.982-07:00ReliefThings are going really well right now. We are now beyond the one month mark of when we started our two bipolar sons on <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Depakote</span>. The difference is night and day, & yet, no serious side effects. We don't see any side effects at all. What we notice is a normal life. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Alot</span> of peace. Almost zero chaos created by mentally ill children. It's a <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">luxury</span> I think most parents take for granted.<br /><br />Work is going well. I have worked almost every day for the school district the past few weeks. I really enjoy working with the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">high school</span> kids the best. That's my favorite so far.<br /><br />My youngest son's birthday party is Friday night. Some kids have <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">RSVP'd</span>. Phew!Kids Special Needshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07297507778283892422noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4968397046252216187.post-15426488184748204082008-10-05T16:06:00.000-07:002008-10-05T16:16:46.983-07:00The Friendship DramaMy heart hurts when the kids come home with their friendship dramas. I guess I should get a thicker skin, because this will only go on for forever. But, what do you do with the autistic child (of any form) who just doesn't understand <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">alot</span> of social skills, nuances, and aspects, yet he WANTS friends? And friends usually think he is weird................<br /><br />He is weird, and it's heartbreaking.<br /><br />All three boys, and one of our girls when she was here, go <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">thru</span> the "nobody wants to be my friend. I have no friends." I can honestly say that is false for all those children.<br /><br />Perhaps they want something different, or situations hurt their feelings, and/or they feel disappointment. I've expressed many times this week to come home and tell me how they FEEL, not to just scream, shove a brother, and say "people treat me like dirt!"<br /><br />Could they be more specific please?<br /><br />So I tell them to tell me what is going on and tell me how they feel. They I ask them, "so what are you going to do about that?" I want them to first look inside <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">them self</span> for alternatives and solutions. Then we can talk about lots of options, including ones I throw out there.<br /><br />What I really loathe is the drama queen routine. sigh. Any suggestions? This really only goes on currently with the 11yr old & almost 10yr old. Could be kids at school, could be neighborhood kids. What I really dislike about our neighborhood kids for the most part is that they are spoiled rotten little rich kids. We live in a neighborhood where the homes are $500K <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">thru</span> a million dollars. Pretty nice. Most of these people do things like shove tons of gifts and monetary extravagance at their kids. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Hmmm</span>, wonder how their kids will like it when they want to move out of mom & pops, and discover the world does not hand them a silver platter. We insist on the kids pitching in, rare trips, and we do not keep up with the latest gadgets and electronics. Apparently in most circles, this is extremely important. We are trying to drive home the point that kids who are nice & share something in common with you are going to make the best friends. We've noticed that the kids who are filthy stinking rich and spoiled are not really nice for the most part. We don't like their parents (typically) and we do not have the same values. We live in the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Pac</span> NW, and one of these families will take their kids to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">DisneyLand</span> just because it's someones birthday. Ah, my kids have been once. ONCE! And that's probably the only trip they will get there on my dime! I'm not being stingy. I feel we have good financial grounding and we are realistic. At the same time we are saving for retirement and the future.<br /><br />So, what else can I do to help with the friendship dramas that will go on until they move out? Diana, perhaps you can write a post about this? You always have such great insight....................Kids Special Needshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07297507778283892422noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4968397046252216187.post-74634617943617412332008-10-03T13:37:00.000-07:002008-10-03T13:43:17.082-07:00Work UpdateThe accounting agency has still never sent me on a job. I interviewed with two other gals for a company. This company has still not selected any of us. This was three weeks ago I interviewed. I gave up on that and called the school district to see if I could sub (they said they would hold my file open for 12 months). So I went to a training orientation on Wednesday, and substituted yesterday at the alternative school. They loved me and asked me if I would like to work there in a permanent position. There are half a dozen programs at the alternative school: middle school, high school, blind/deaf elementary, teen parents with daycare on site, severely disabled (age 14-21), & parents attending school with child. I worked in the severely disabled classrooms (2 classes). These are kids where half of them will never speak or live <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">independently</span>. Either strokes or highly mentally retarded. The lowest functioning in the district.<br />I worked with three girls yesterday ages 19, 20, & 21. Heartbreaking work, but necessary. I think the 19yr old had a stroke or something......she is strapped to a wheelchair, in diapers (someone else changed her, thank GOD!), can't speak, and has to be hand fed & bottle fed. Poor thing. I was reading to one girl and pulled the girl in the wheel chair over to us to listen as well. She was just sitting alone in the middle of the room. I thought "If she were my kid, I would want someone with her doing just what the other kids are doing". I think she liked me; I got a smile out of her. I had to roll my eyes at this male teacher. When I was reading to the girl in the wheel chair this guy is shaking his head "no" at me & says "you know she can't interact or participate, right?". I said, "If she were my child I would want her included." I kept her with me & read to her. I was trying not to cry, thinking of this poor woman, age 19, so severely disabled, and no one cares if she sits all alone. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Sheesh</span>. Then briefly I helped six kids who are working VERY hard to get their food handling license. They want to work at Alfy's, Top Foods, etc., nearby. One of the boys (downs syndrome) put boxes together at Alfy's each day. Some of the kids work at <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">GoodWill</span> and Safeway a couple hrs a week. But they have to have adult supervision on the job until they pass a test. So I went <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">thru</span> a couple of practice tests with the kids. I think maybe half of the six will pass the test. I wrote the district today & officially am in the ring for the job. 8am-2:30pm Monday <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">thru</span> Friday. Perfect. And the alternative school is less than 15 minutes from my home! If I don't get that job, I'll keep subbing. There wasn't any need for subs today, so I'm at home.Kids Special Needshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07297507778283892422noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4968397046252216187.post-83706493458980799902008-10-03T12:48:00.000-07:002008-10-03T12:50:56.227-07:00Happy Harvest Everyone<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtoUY17yFNP_MRdaSTvPaawrbyxL1BKdavnLnkdnypusuDoe3W5TMnAy2kTIPKX27YNByUl6IgRCvv5EHekMcnZhlvQhR8zvBu3gTNv9HttEtJ05DqxqIIhwVoN7_ekupPrZdMrHfx1ZY/s1600-h/alcohol.bmp"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5253017405517626018" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtoUY17yFNP_MRdaSTvPaawrbyxL1BKdavnLnkdnypusuDoe3W5TMnAy2kTIPKX27YNByUl6IgRCvv5EHekMcnZhlvQhR8zvBu3gTNv9HttEtJ05DqxqIIhwVoN7_ekupPrZdMrHfx1ZY/s400/alcohol.bmp" border="0" /></a><br /><div>WARNING.....DO NOT LEAVE ALCOHOL NEAR YOUR PUMPKINS </div>Kids Special Needshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07297507778283892422noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4968397046252216187.post-74230062212638625642008-10-01T08:10:00.001-07:002008-10-01T08:47:06.673-07:00And So It Goes.....Remember when I wrote that the 13yr old was a prick over me taking him to school when he was late? That night he came home and apologized. I was ready and waiting for him to come home, seeing as I've come up with "options" for him. In love & logic, they are big into sharing options/choices with your kid. So I told him "no problem. Next time you are late, you could have one of two things: a) walk to school (6-7 miles?), or b) yes I could jump out of bed and drive you to school as is. And this means I'm in my tanker summer nightgown, greasy face, no teeth brushed, hair pulled back in a clip, and to boot, no underwear on. I'd be more than happy to hop out of the van, go into the office, and sign you in."<br /><br />He looked like he was going to die or vomit, and was speechless as he shook his head "no". Yea, that's what I thought.<br /><br /><a href="http://ukraineadventure.blogspot.com/"><strong><em><span style="color:#333399;">Lauri's blog post</span></em></strong> </a>(<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">clickable</span>) has me traveling down memory lane. I'm big into getting kids to solve, or at least think <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">thru</span>, their own problems. At school as well. Most if not many complaints and/or problems kids have are able to be addressed by the one who owns the problem. I've avoided being a helicopter parent. I think the kids have learned <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">alot</span> of social skills in dealing with their own stuff. However, on a rare occasion, I've made inquiries with the teacher and/or principal. Only once have I ever had to go above the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Principal's</span> head. When do you feel it's appropriate or necessary to go above the teacher's head or the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Principal's</span> head? I'll share with you when I've done this.<br /><br />Going above the teacher's head, cause it was just not being resolved:<br />stealing in the classroom<br />violence and/or bullying<br /><br />Going above the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Principal's</span> head:<br />Stalking<br /><br />We dealt with the stalker for two years. It all started when J was best friends with my 11yr old. J was a bit possessive, and had no other friends. 11yr old is basically a pretty nice kid, and had lots of friends. So he was like "whatever." Until J became an obnoxious mean spirited child who lied to other kids, telling other kids that my son didn't like anyone else. So, being the tender hearted boy he is, not wanting to hurt <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">anyone's</span> feelings, he told J that he likes all the other kids, and to knock it off. This did not go over well, and J turned into psycho stalker in the 2<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">nd</span> grade. I won't go into a million details, but he was a really ugly child in the classroom, playground, and bus. Sadly we live half a mile from the child, and yes, they rode the bus together as well. My son continued to distance himself from J, and this angered J further. Vicious cycle. Since it was all words and no violence, we kept tabs on this, listened to our son grieve over this, and kept giving him "<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">atta</span> boys". I checked in with the teacher about once a month about it all. After a few months of this, I called the parents, who are entirely clueless. They were like "why can't the boys be friends and just like each other?" Um, because your son is a mental case! I did not say that, and just shared the facts, stating the boys would not be friends because of their son's meanness. They are totally in denial. All I requested at the end of the school year was that the boys be in separate classes the next school year. Hopefully this would phase out stalker child.<br /><br />No one listened to me, and the boys were put in the same class. I held my tongue, and waited for the problems to ensue. They went on all school year, into the spring. I worked with the teacher & principal (or so I thought). The boys sat across the room from one another. But that really didn't help. Finally got to the point where I was dealing with the principal exclusively, over the classroom, playground, and bus. This got me nowhere.<br /><br />I resorted to pulling out the school district policy book, called the school <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">Superintendent</span>, and cited all the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">harassment</span> that has been going on for two school years. By this point too, our son was so depressed and beaten down, he was not even the same child. J was now on my son's ball team (by request of J), and yelling at him & taunting him every day at practice. He also threw baseball bats at my son in the dugout, at close range. The buck stopped here. I told the whole saga to the Super, including all my conversations with the principal, and said "I'm now ready to get the police involved. I will get a restraining order against J & his family, and that will be a far bigger problem for the school district to deal with. J will be moved to another class & possibly another school to keep X amount of distance away from my child, J will be kicked off our city baseball league, and J will have to find alternative transportation to school. His parents both work full-time, so they will be highly inconvenienced finding a way to transport him around without the school bus." The buck stopped here. I never regret making this phone call. Surprisingly, the principal was most <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">accommodating</span> at this point. Immediately. No restraining order, but the school kept J away, the city league kicked J off the team, and he sits in another part of the school bus. The school required personal & group counseling for J, including social skills classes. ya think?<br /><br />We are really proud of our son for how he dealt with this. He did his best to ignore, and never once used physical force against J (even though our son is physically much bigger & stronger, our son turned the other cheek). He talked with his parents, teacher, and principal, about all this. He also got to see that there are higher powers that be, above and beyond the almighty school principal. He also saw his parents love him <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">thru</span> this, we were his safe haven, cheerleaders, and we showed him that the police are there to help us when others aren't.<br /><br />On the flip side, my 13yr old dealt with 2 school bullies from the 2<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">nd</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">thru</span> 6<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">th</span> grade. No where near the extreme of J, but annoying to say the least. This all stopped in the 6<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">th</span> grade when the 2 bullies tried to beat my son up together, out of the blue, and my son kicked their asses. Both of them. All three kids were suspended, which I protested in person to the school. I was not listened to, but I feel that since all the witnesses agreed that the other two boys instigated & were beating up my son, my son has every right to protect himself. The school policy is to suspend everyone physically fighting. We were able to walk away from this pretty well, because the bottom line is those two <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">assholey</span> kids will never bother my child again. People are still talking about how my son beat up those two punks. Everyone thought they deserved it. Kids and parents alike. I still have to chuckle. And given the same scenario, I would still tell my child to fight back when a couple of kids are beating his head into concrete.<br /><br />Fortunately, after it's all said and done, I feel I have good repore with the school and district. I feel I handled myself well, and consider the principal to be an acquaintance. She was even a personal reference for me during my hiring phase this last month with the district. I think we've come a long way.<br /><br />So, where do you draw the line? Where do you let your kid deal with it on their own and where do you step in?Kids Special Needshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07297507778283892422noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4968397046252216187.post-74910265517233337622008-09-29T14:14:00.000-07:002008-09-29T14:37:39.658-07:00Computer ProblemMy computer is having a personal problem. <strong><em>Running. Slower. Than. Molasses.</em></strong> I'll be back after we get this resolved..........................<br />As long as it took me 20 minutes to get this far, I'll add a couple things:<br />1. The accounting agency has still not ever gotten back to me about work.<br />2. I got on with the local school district as a sub. Long story. I have a 2hr orientation Wed, then I can start to sub on Thursday. Better to work & get some income, than wait around for no job at all. I can be employed by both.<br />3. My middle <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">schooler</span> woke up late today. I showered & got ready before driving him to school. As he was getting out of the car I told him I love him & said to have a great day. What did he say? "I could have still gotten here on time if you wouldn't have showered" and slammed the door. What a prick. Guess that's teenagers for ya.<br />4. Saw the movie "Fireproof" this weekend. It's a must see. I will warn you ahead of time, a majority of the movie is Christian, revolves around being a Christian, I have to admit the acting is poor (worse than LifeTime Network), and my husband felt preached at during this movie. I went knowing it was about a firefighter having marriage problems. Saw 2 clips on the Dr. Phil show. I cried <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">thru</span> about half the movie, seeing as we've walked the walk this guy is walking in his marriage. Tough stuff. It was quite <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">pivotal</span> for me to see this movie, and I imagine I'll buy it when it comes out (I rarely buy movies). But it was so chalk full of good nuggets, I really need to watch something like this a few times a year. Maybe once a month! Personally I'm really at a place in my life where marriage needs to come to the forefront and be placed as a high priority that is worked on daily, hourly, regularly, not just when we can actually get around to it. I think we've been doing our dance, neither of us doing anything stupid or immoral, but that's not enough. Marriage still gets to the breaking point when needs aren't met. Marriage gets to the breaking point when people are in pain & tired of being hurt. Marriage gets to the breaking point when tragedy strikes. Marriage gets to the breaking point when you don't know how to deal with disabled children. Etc. We naively went into marriage thinking "we'll try hard, work hard, stay moral, and it will all be good!" Stupid stupid stupid us. Boy were we stupid. Some how it wasn't enough. Sure, we worked hard, tried hard, and did the "right" things, but life throws curveballs. I think that is where our stumbling blocks have been, over the curveballs. I won't list them all. We all get curveballs thrown at us. Anyway, I signed us up for a marriage course thru our church. Seven week course starting Saturday. It includes dinner, so will be a nice free date. Well, the whole course, ciriculum, and dinners cost $45 for 7 weeks. Bargain. Hopefully some good will come from this ..........................................Kids Special Needshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07297507778283892422noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4968397046252216187.post-79527064831734994522008-09-25T12:17:00.000-07:002008-09-25T12:22:20.270-07:00Valium Turned My Husband into a TeenagerThis morning my DH had <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">LASIK</span> surgery. All went well. Other than the affect of the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Valium</span>. He has been turned into a 14yr old boy.<br /><br />He took the first <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Valium</span> an hour before we left for surgery. Didn't notice much affect on him. Until we got to the surgical waiting room. Where he proceeded to make roving hand & squeezing gestures at my boobs. In front of other people.<br /><br />My DH is the most conservative person I know. We rarely even hold hands in public.<br /><br />After surgery he grabbed at my boobs once (in the Taco Time <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">DriveUp</span> window), and tried to stick his hand down my shirt once (in traffic as I was driving him home).<br /><br />I'm glad he's in bed taking a nap currently. Shaking my head........................Kids Special Needshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07297507778283892422noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4968397046252216187.post-32994504783132222662008-09-22T05:40:00.001-07:002008-09-22T16:44:51.426-07:00The Working Mama DebateYesterday on <a href="http://peaseadoption.blogspot.com/2008/09/kids-need-moms-oh-really.html"><span style="color:#6600cc;"><strong><em>Laura's</em></strong></span></a> blog, I found a link to <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" style="color:#6600cc;"><a href="http://diniadoption.blogspot.com/"><strong><em>Jeanette's</em></strong></a></span> blog (post now removed, but still on Laura's blog in entirety). Click on either name to get to their blog. The posts were quite something, not to mention the comments. WOW! What a debate! It's as old as dirt. I frankly have so much to say on the topic, I did not post a comment on <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Jeanette's</span> blog. **And while we are at it, my respect and admiration goes to single working moms. You wear all the hats in the family.**<br /><br />1. Let's take religion out of the equation for a moment. Yes, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">alot</span></span> of what guides and directs us is <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">thru</span></span> our belief system. However, how can one say that being a Christian (or not, as <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Jeanette</span> was accused of) clearly dictates if a woman works outside the home? Does the bible state if we should breastfeed? Eat organically? Those are rhetorical of course, but other topics people really get hot over.<br />2. Can we not be kind to others when stating our opinions? I think the crisis here is women who cannot support other women. We don't have to agree with them, but can we not be compassionate & graceful <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">thru</span></span> adversity? Truly in our day in age, high cost of living, stress, lack of extended family support, you'd think women could <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">at least</span> support women.<br />3. It's not a crime/sin to have a child, adopted or bio, in daycare. I'm a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">SAHM</span></span> and I can see that one pretty clearly.<br />4. What's up with all the anonymous <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">commenters</span></span> on this topic? Personally I'm glad people came out of <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">hibernation</span> to comment, but can't people use their blog ID and feel bold enough to post their true feelings?<br />5. Honestly, I do not know many women who can afford to work AND put their child in daycare. I know countless women <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">thru</span></span> church, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">biblestudy</span></span>, MOPS, etc., who are like "I choose to be a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">SAHM</span></span>." Really? I know these women don't have marketable skills and/or a college degree. They truly cannot afford to pay for daycare after one child (if even for one). This is not a put down to those women. I'm just saying, I see these women patting <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">them self</span> needlessly on the back, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">al</span><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">luding</span></span> to what they allegedly gave up (all this free flowing cash) to be a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">SAHM</span></span>, when that's just not the true picture. In real life*, I only know one professional woman in addition to myself who chose to put their career aside to be a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">SAHM</span></span>. ONE. I am an accountant, and my friend is a lawyer. Now that is giving up a great career to be a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">SAHM</span></span>! I'm not patting myself on the back. Just stating the situation. *<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">Thru</span></span> yahoo groups & blogs, I've met countless professional women who put their career aside to be with their children.<br />6. That being said, there ARE many things we <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">SAHM's</span></span> give up. I don't have to rant about it though. Conversely, there are many things working moms give up too. Life is hard, and no one said it would be fair!<br />7. Where are the women who choose to work and have the balls to just come out and say "Yea, I work outside the home. I want to. It's a choice I make. I feel like it." I know you are out there. I know personally there are many women who want a career, the professional environment, the socializing, strong work ethic, 401K, and sense of accomplishment that a career provides. It's not wrong to have those desires. They are positive dynamics and I commend that.<br />8. Jeanette<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_20">'s</span> original blog post is about ex-orphan kids being left in daycare. Somewhere the argument went sideways and all the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_21"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">SAHM's</span></span> and working moms came out with gloves on. Our original international adoption agency had a policy to only approve adoptions to families with a stay at home parent (they did approve single parents). I personally feel that it is highly beneficial to do this for kids with <strong>any</strong> special need. I think most people would agree with that. Again though, it's not a crime to put a child in daycare. <strong><em><span style="font-size:130%;">A child who is here in the US, with a loving family, is far better off than in an institution!! Praise God these children have been adopted and have a forever family! </span></em></strong><br />9. I think there are exceptions to any situation. When we had the girls with us, the older girl had so many behavioral, sexual, and safety problems, I literally could not do anything other than watch her like a hawk 24/7. In the evening when my DH came home, he watched her like a hawk so I could get the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_22">home front</span> taken care of. This truly impacted the other children in the home. They had nearly zilch quality time with me. During the day they were at school; in the evening I was running errands, cleaning the house, cooking, getting to doctor <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_23"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">appts</span></span>, etc. At this point, it became necessity to put the adopted child in daycare 4hrs a week so I could have some uninterrupted time caring for my family. She is a highly traumatized and disturbed child. Be that as it may, I could not sacrifice the other children in the home & the care for them and our family, to watch one child 24/7. So, daycare came into the equation 4 hours a week. I have no regrets about that.<br />10. Final point. I do not want this to come down as harsh. The truth is, we all make our own choices. Working moms and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_24"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">SAHM</span></span> moms all have bills to pay. Mainly I hear from working moms that "we have bills to pay." Well, that's true, but it's true for all of us. And yes, I live in a Seattle <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_25">suburb</span>, one of the most expensive areas in the country. Yes, gas prices have gone <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_26"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18">thru</span></span> the roof. yes. yes. yes. I know there are countless families who have financial hardships, out of their control, and they are stuck with the bill: medical costs, a legal fiasco, a natural disaster, whatnot. Honestly though, when people say "we have bills to pay", well, who created those bills? Usually the person who the bill comes to. Usually it's an intentional purchase, and not a natural disaster or crisis generating the bills. I'm NOT saying it's wrong to have bills, to make purchases, to make choices. But that is what this all comes down to: <strong>MONEY!</strong><br /><br />My husband and I are both financial professionals with great financial expertise. So, we know enough to know that we all have options. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_27"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19">Alot</span></span> of people, if they are truly interested, could go to one income by doing the following:<br /><br />Pay by cash only. No cash? No purchase.<br />Go to one car. Take a bus. Ride a bike.<br />Bring a sack lunch to work, and no lattes, soft drinks, cigarettes, beer.<br />Shop at Value Village. Most of my families material <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_28">possessions</span> are from <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_29"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_20">VV</span></span>. Artwork, kitchen gadgets, mine & DH clothing, household decor, tools, the kids church clothes, shower curtains. You name it, and thrift stores carry it. I have never bought underwear there. I do draw the line at that.<br />This would be hard, but if you want to cut back, sell the house & buy a smaller one. Yes the economy sucks, as it does for EVERYONE! It just is. As a couple, we seriously know if my husband lost a job, was disabled, we'd sell the house & buy a tiny one. It just is.<br />Check out Dave Ramsey, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_30"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_21">Suze</span></span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_31"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_22">Orman</span></span>, Dr. Phil, Oprah, Google, and look up Money, Debt, <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_32">Finances</span>, Debt-free, etc. Too many good nuggets there (free!) to help. I'm totally serious.<br />No expensive vacations. No eating out. Cut the kids back to one sport/extra <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_33">circular</span> activity per year (or none). It will not kill them. They can ride a bike, play outside, and find something to do for free.<br />Buy what's on sale each week at the grocery store & live off of that. Buy meat in bulk or <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_34"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_23">thru</span></span> a grower/supplier and utilize that freezer. We have half a pig coming in October. YUMMY!<br />Give up expensive hobbies.<br />Give up professional services & take care of things yourself (<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_35"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_24">ie</span></span>..<span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_36">hair color</span>, manicures, mowing the lawn, cleaning the house.)<br />Take an evening and/or weekend job. Both of you.<br />Give up the subscriptions & annual fees: magazines, athletic tickets, the golf club.<br />Buy drugstore toiletries & essentials, use some generic here and there, and skip the mall.<br /><br />There are countless ideas and options, which I do not have the time to get into here. We've <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_37">implemented</span> many in our personal life.<br />When times are tough, we realize there is truly little we HAVE to have. There is little we need. We have to have shelter, food, water, and clothes on our back. None of these have to be fancy or designer. It's not about what we deserve, it's about getting our needs met. True needs. Not wants.<br /><br />The bottom line is, there are also MANY families doing all these financial tips & then some, who are still in dire financial straights. I applaud you. I respect you. I know you are working your fingers to the bone, you are <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_38"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_25">dogass</span></span> tired, and you are frayed. You are in pain, and to add insult to injury, some <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_39"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_26">SAHM's</span></span> are attacking you. I think this is the crisis. This is the tragedy. You are doing all you can, and your efforts will eventually pay off. You will get out of debt. You only answer to yourself and God. You will be blessed for your efforts.<br /><br />As women, please support each other. Notice I have not attacked anyone here, or any side. These are observations, with a little financial education thrown in there, because yes, I am a financial professional. Not tooting my horn. I have two college degrees in business & accounting, as does my spouse.<br /><br />If anyone has any questions about finance, please write. I welcome any and all comments here, and encourage it. I truly want to see women supporting women. We all need it. Desperately. Laura & <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_40">Jeanette</span>, I believe you are both Christians! As women we need to take a stand and not be on a high horse. Last time I checked, none of us is a moral/religious professional; we have not cornered the market on that and no one is entitled to get on a high horse over it all. I'm sure <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_41"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_27">Dobson</span></span> or Beth Moore could post on all this with far more tact than I've recently seen in <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_42"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_28">Bloggerland</span></span>. We all have our opinions, and we can all have a blog. That is obvious. Personally, I would prefer to discuss topics, not wage an emotional war against others. I hope I have been <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_43"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_29">atleast</span></span> a tad helpful here sharing my feelings.<br /><br />The most noble calling is to be a mother. And there are lots of ways to be a mother.Kids Special Needshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07297507778283892422noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4968397046252216187.post-22451497971838541692008-09-19T12:49:00.001-07:002008-09-19T13:12:37.729-07:00I'm a RoadieI feel like there are so many things going on in my life, each deserving their own blog entry. Ever have so much happen in a day, week, month like that? <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Sheesh</span></span>. I'll try to briefly hit the topics, and discuss further later:<br /><br />1. I have still not heard back about the job. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr</span></span>.............I called the agency today. The client did not like the other two candidates, and I am their front runner. So why the holdup?<br />2. Both sons improving a bit on <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">meds</span></span>. Thank God. People with perfectly healthy children have no idea what it is like to live in the chaos of a home with 2 bipolar children. By last night I was so drained I told everyone I was on Sick Leave for the evening. Seriously too tired & beat up emotionally do anything other than get off my butt.<br />3. I've signed up to volunteer at a Women's Shelter & Halfway House. The director wants me to tutor, mentor, live there to supervise, and lead bible studies. She wants more than I can give at the moment. So we are working something out. I will not be living there.<br />4. I started attending a bible study & program <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">thru</span></span> church on Mentoring. It will normally be Tues pm. It's offered Thurs am as well. First meeting yesterday. Great group. Essentially it's about being a Titus Woman. I will feel more comfortable volunteering at the Women's home after the mentoring class is over. I feel I need the training and education on resources.<br />5. Monday & Tuesday I dealt with an abandoned vehicle in my yard. Who parks their car, head in, in someone <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">else's</span></span> driveway? We assumed they were drunk or high. After waiting 14hrs for the owner to appear, Monday I had it towed. The tabs were expired since February, so I didn't feel comfortable letting it sit like that in my yard. Tuesday I had to deal with the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">asinine</span> neighbor who it turns out, left their car in my yard! What a moron. Said it was their teen. Um, OK. Everyone has to pass my house after they enter the development. How could neither parent notice their son's car in my yard for 14hrs? Maybe they are high as well. So they turn up Tuesday all <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">belligerent</span> about us towing the vehicle. I wrote them a pretty stern letter. They came by to apologize yesterday. I was quite surprised. I think that takes <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">alot</span></span> to apologize.<br />6. Yesterday learned a dear sweet beautiful friend of mine has breast, lung, and liver cancer. I found this out at bible study, and cried when I heard. I'm 38. She's my age. How on earth do these things happen? I rarely ask "why Lord" because I figure after all the suffering on earth, we will die and see that heaven is just that much more glorious. In the mean time, good grief. Her son is a year older than my oldest, and we've spent much time at their sporting events together. Not to mention church & bible study. I called her yesterday & left a message asking if I could bring them meals each week. I have not heard back. Hopefully she'll be well enough to return a call soon. Then I think, what else could I do to help? Clean her bathrooms? Teach her 9<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">th</span></span> grade son to cook? Help with errands? I want her to know how much she is loved, and how much God's people care for her.<br />7. My husband told me two nights ago that he wants to adopt again. My first reaction was to burst into tears. Apparently I need to work <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">thru</span></span> grief a bit more! To rewind, our agency did say they would be more than happy to place a child with us after we had time to go to grief counseling & wait at least six months. It's been 7 months. We'll see.................<br />8. I went to my second post-op <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">appt</span> for my eyes. Doing pretty well. The left eye is still a black eye, so he said no makeup for one more week. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">ARGH</span>!<br />9. Hit a great sale at a local nursery. Adding two more rows of berries (gooseberries & more blueberries).<br />10. I'm now a roadie. Or a biker chick. Not sure. You decide. One of my best friends missed our 20yr reunion. Only 55+ folks came out of our class of almost 300 graduates. Many people communicated to me that it was too expensive ($90-95) for the formal affair. And many told me they were not interested in a formal affair. So, my friend "C" and I decided, hey, why don't we organize something cheap, casual, and local. I heard one of our classmates owns a bar. We went to visit him there and eat some lunch. It's a roadhouse. I'm rarely even in a bar (maybe once every 20 yrs!), let alone a roadhouse! It was surprisingly decent, large, and the food is excellent. He is offering a no cover charge night for our classmates, and providing a dinner for $10/head. So I organized the whole thing <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">thru</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">Evite</span>, sent that out plus 15 snail mails. We are off and running. I put in the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">Evite</span> that friends don't let friends drive drunk. We have three options on that: I will be a designated driver for the first 6 people to sign up, there is a hotel <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">across</span> the street from the roadhouse, and we have a friend who offered up their limo service for $15/head to drive folks home. Can't beat that. I'm a roadie............If this goes well, C & the roadhouse owner, along with myself, would like to make this an annual event.<br /><br />I have so many feelings, especially on adoption, that I will have to post more about that later.Kids Special Needshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07297507778283892422noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4968397046252216187.post-83637727306718436992008-09-17T13:18:00.000-07:002008-09-17T13:20:54.204-07:00IEP, volume 1Had first IEP meeting today for our youngest son (bipolar, Aspergers/Autism). Went well. He will be getting Language Therapy, Occupational Therapy for fine motor, and Social Communication Therapy. HOORAH! He can be serviced at our home school, so he does not need to switch schools into the Autism program (another location). So glad they can help!!Kids Special Needshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07297507778283892422noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4968397046252216187.post-78745179047237427312008-09-17T10:15:00.000-07:002008-09-17T10:16:08.112-07:00Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?Why did the chicken cross the road?<br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">BARACK</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">OBAMA</span> : The chicken crossed the road because it was time for change ! The chicken wanted change ! <br />JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.<br />HILLARY CLINTON : When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.<br />GEORGE W. BUSH : We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.<br />DICK CHENEY : Where's my gun?<br />COLIN POWELL : Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.<br />BILL CLINTON : I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?<br />AL GORE: I invented the chicken.<br />JOHN KERRY : Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.<br />AL <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">SHARPTON</span> : Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.<br />DR.. PHIL : The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.<br />OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.<br />ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.<br />NANCY GRACE : That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty ! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.<br />PAT BUCHANAN : To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.<br />MARTHA STEWART : No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.<br />DR SEUSS : Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.<br />ERNEST HEMINGWAY : To die in the rain, alone.<br />GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.<br />BARBARA WALTERS : Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.<br />ARISTOTLE : It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.<br />JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.<br />BILL GATES : I have just released <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">eChicken</span>2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">eChicken</span>2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.<br />ALBERT EINSTEIN : Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?<br /> COLONEL SANDERS : Did I miss one?Kids Special Needshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07297507778283892422noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4968397046252216187.post-46404903981129725922008-09-16T16:06:00.000-07:002008-09-16T16:07:48.512-07:00Job InterviewThe agency sent me out today to interview with a client. I really like them. Hope they like me. I'm the second interview of three people for them. I should hear yes/no tomorrow. Hoping hoping hoping...............Kids Special Needshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07297507778283892422noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4968397046252216187.post-83406776241701050862008-09-16T07:46:00.000-07:002008-09-16T07:53:37.627-07:00Cyber Stalker?There is a lady who has been reading all the blogs on my <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">blog roll</span>, then posting anonymous comments to my adoption blog buddies as "Esther". Um, what the heck is that? I've been telling my buddies that anonymous Esther is NOT me.<br /><br />So, I have condensed my <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">blog roll</span> down to my daily "must-reads", as these people are folks I mainly know & communicate with in real life. Ok, I don't know Martha Beck in real life. But anyway.....The rest of the blogs deleted from the blogroll I have in my files.<br /><br />If you get a comment from an Esther, make sure MY little picture ID is on the comment, and you will know it's me ;o)<br /><br />Weird people. weird people out there.................Kids Special Needshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07297507778283892422noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4968397046252216187.post-87033776825661468432008-09-12T09:45:00.000-07:002008-09-12T09:51:43.462-07:0020/25I had my checkup with the surgeon this morning. I have 20/25 vision, and everything is great. They only drawback is my left eye is now a black eye. Looks like I've been shot. Not kidding. It's my eye that's a floater, so it was difficult to laser that eye. Seriously that eye looks so bad, I scared two of my kids yesterday when they saw me the first time. The surgeon had to keep stopping & restarting the laser during surgery, waiting for my eye to hold a gaze. The surgeon is referring me to a pediatric eye surgeon. He says they are the best at fixing "lazy eye". Or whatever you want to call it. So, in 6-12 months I can get the floater fixed.<br /><br />I told my husband I want to sign up for adult swim lessons. I can swim, barely, and I would love to do a mini-<span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">triathlon</span>. I can't run anymore, but I could <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">race walk</span> that portion.<br /><br />In the meantime, I have to wear sunglasses outdoors for a month, and safety goggles during sports, house cleaning, gardening, etc. Guess outdoors I can wear the sunglasses over the goggles? Lookin good..............................Kids Special Needshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07297507778283892422noreply@blogger.com1