Here is a link to today's Daily Bread Devotional. I am floored and awed that this is the timing of today's devotion. Very poignant for me. I feel so blessed, feeling like God wrote this for me, knowing I would read this today. (link highlighted)
In other news, I have decided I will continue to blog. I believe firmly that we are all here for a greater purpose, and to help one another. Perhaps in some way I will be able to help others for that which we have endured.
We are healing, and working on that process. I have many updates on our family and all we've been up to. I'll continue to keep you posted.
An interesting twist: the girls are back with the foster family they/we know. The elderly couple who had the girls right before us. The 4yr old is on her best "honeymoon" behavior, and the 2yr old wants to come home (we are dying over that). I will say though that over the last six months we have forged a great relationship with the foster parents. All four of us have come to respect, admire, and care for each other deeply. We are in contact multiple times per day, and that is helping all of us.
We all fear that the next move will be even harder than imaginable on the girls. They will have to lose the foster parents. Again. This is already a painful reality for the foster parents, and they are in grave pain over it. And the 4yr old thinks "forever" is not forever. She has always wanted to go back to the foster parents, so we fear she thinks she has the power to create that situation. God bless the next family to take in the girls permanently.
Even though the 4yr old is on her best honeymoon behavior, that version of her is still an enormous handful. The foster dad wrote me Saturday from work stating that he had to go home so the foster mom could get out of the house. Geez, the girls had only been there not even 48 hours. I shudder to think how difficult it will be when the 4yr old gets into her normal behavior. Please keep the foster parents and girls in your prayers.
A note on support. Ya know, I feared that someone somewhere would have something stupid, cruel, harsh, judgemental, etc., to tell us over our decision to disrupt. No one until now has known what has truly transpired with the girls, as we only told people (in real life) the happy/positive parts of the story. I did confide in the professionals on the case, and a personal friend who is a doctor. That was all. We felt it of vital importance to keep the girls privacy all this time, out of respect and love. So, people have been shocked we disrupted, but when told the reasoning and story behind the girls, have been 100% supportive, encouraging, loving, and have touched our hearts every day.
Thank you and bless you for traveling this journey with us.
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10 comments:
My prayers are with you and your family as well as with both girls and the foster family. God has his way of handling these situation and while we don't always understand how or why things turn out the way they do we can be assured that God has everyone's best interest at hand when he makes the decisions he makes.
I am so glad you will continue blogging. You have great things to share and your blog has always been one of my favorites.
No one has walked in your family's shoes, so if someone judges you or makes an insensitive comment over the disruption - ignore it. Your blogger friends support you and empathize (to the best of our ability being a great number of us haven't "been there").
I'm glad you're getting the support you need from your family and friends, and I'm glad you're going to continue to blog.
I'm so glad you're back in blogger land!
I'm with you... I do believe things happen for a reason. Sometimes its hard to know the reason or we may never know, but there is a reason there, somewhere, for someone. I was absolutely devastated when my first "sure thing" foster/adopt placement went home. I'd still take her back today if the opportunity arose. Losing a child, whatever the reason, has to be one of the most painful things a person could ever endure.
Your family will remain in my prayers.
Hugs, Lisa
I'm so sorry for you having to make this decision. You did what you needed to do to protect your family, your entire family including the girls. People who judge haven't experienced real life; don't worry about those people now but worry about them when their turn comes.
You're all in my thoughts.
You are in my prayers at this difficult time. Those who have been there understand. Those who haven't will never understand. Having "been there, done that" I can so totally understand.
Take some time to regroup and get to know your bios again. I'm sure they've missed you!
I feel so dumb. I didn't put 2 and 2 together that this was you until just now. So sorry I had only been checking this blog periodically.
I've been praying for you and am so glad that you will continue to blog.
We disrupted a foster-to-adopt placement, too, because our DD's safety was at risk. It broke my heart for quite a while, but we're better now. We're back on track and the child has been placed with a family who has no other children. You'll make it through this! Take care of yourself.
I am so, so very sorry. We went through a similar experience. It was HELL, as you know, but there is life on the other side. I'm just so sorry.
Kerry
I have been sick and not been reading your blog lately. My heart goes out to you and all you have gone through and with what has had to be one of the most painful decisions of your lives. I cannot imagine. My thoughts and prayers are with you all in this. May the Lord grant you with peace and the assurance of His presence.
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