The Governor's Office Called

A lady who works for the governor called yesterday. She is handling our case from inside the governor's office. She was really kind, educated, and helpful. She wanted to hear, again, about our experience from the top, before the next phase of the investigation. Also she wanted to know what we feel was the number one problem here, what we want, and what we would like.

I told her I feel the number one problem here were two items:
1. Full disclosure never happened. We were told the girls are "healthy, cute, happy, normal, smart"
2. Medical resources were denied, resources which can save the road this little girl is on, her health, her well being, and the safety & well being of those around her. At a minimum, we wanted the child to have counseling, and access to the UW fetal alcohol center. UW has the best resources in THE WORLD for fetal alcohol, and they have been on the cutting edge of science for this since 1983. UW coined the term "fetal alchohol syndrome." It's appauling that the state would not let her have an appointment there.
The govornor's office agrees with our feelings here.

I told her what we want is the option to adopt the 2yr old (doubtful) and above all we don't want this whole debacle happening to other families. We want the 4yr old (now 5yr old) placed somewhere that she is kept safe from others, children and adults alike.

To back up, I thought it interesting in our most recent email from the foster parents, this item:
They wrote that they went to a meeting at DSHS and the 3rd foster child in the home is moving out. Only the bio sisters will be left. Well, the governor's employee told me yesterday that the 4yr old (now 5yr old) is now classified as a predator, with predatory behavior. At least THAT will help future children around her and her future placements. I imagine this change led to the 3rd child moving out of the foster home. I am thankful.

Back to the story, I also told the lady it was really the final insult to hear from the SW's that we were required to go to personal counseling and marital counseling because "we only needed to parent her better." Sigh. Ya know, I asked, begged, the SW's to tell us the entire six months, how to parent her better.

The state employee was shocked that someone would say that to us. Completely out of line. Not to mention, we ALREADY had several children, some with special needs. We didn't just fall off the turnip truck. We know how to parent a variety of different ways, and parent healthy and not-so-healthy children. To tell someone they "just need to parent better" is putting on the proverbial band aid. Not a real solution.

Anyway, the state is going to try to keep the girls together. They will keep the girls in foster care WITH NO OTHER CHILDREN or put them in an adoptive home WITH NO OTHER CHILDREN (thank you God), a home that is trained to keep the 2yr old safe. I think even the "safe" part is a dangerous walk though. How can anyone guarantee 100% safety when a sibling is a sexual predator? But what do I know..................

So that's the latest update. 99% chance the girls will stay together. And I'm OK with that. It's out of my hands and control. Mainly we don't want another family lied to, blind sighted, and put in danger as we were. I'm sure it will happen again, somewhere, somehow, but at least this sibling group is being handled differently. For now.

FYI-I asked the governor's office what they feel is the biggest problem here. I asked them how we could have handled this differently, improved, dealt with issues, whatnot. They feel the biggest problems here are:
1. The girls "Safety and Information" stats & sheets were lies and not updated to inform, reflect, educate, and ensure safety for others around the older child. (no kidding)
2. She feels we went above and beyond the call of duty here, advocating hard, protecting our other children, etc. She feels the state made a bad placement, putting a predator into our home. She says there is no good way to handle what we went thru, other than to end the situation for the safety of everyone involved.
3. There is a legislative problem in that there is no funding available for these kids to get resources, that they urgently need.

I think that's it. I'm feeling slightly better, so I'm able to go to our church ladies retreat today. I'm off to the Canadian boarder. Over and out.